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Gazette 2000-01-08
Articles | Archives | Gazette | 2000 Gazettes | Gazette 2000-01-08
     ___The Official AVATAR___________________________________
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       /  _____/ _____   ________  ____ _/  |_ _/  |_   ____  
      /     ___ __    ____  /_/ __ \   __\   ___/ __  
          _   / __ _ /    /   ___/ |  |   |  |    ___/ 
       ______  /(____  //_____  ___  >|__|   |__|   ___  >
              /      /       /     /                   / 
     ________________________________________ 08 Jan, 2000 ___

         _    |
          `   ~ )Telnet to Avatar at: avatar.walrus.com 3000   
            -  //         Visit the Avatar web page at:
       ,,.--(_ ("""'^.     http://www.walrus.com/~avatar
      ;;( ,___, ,/~`;   
     ;' )/>/  '--,      
        | `   |"       
        "   "  "
     Table of Contents

          1. Editorial by Dizzy 
          2. How smart ARE trolls, anyway?
          3. Addicted to Avatar by Niki
          4. Sponging by Chuft
          5. Someday by CherrapunJi

     1. Editorial by Dizzy 

The idealized Medieval timeframe in which the Avatar world is set, was a
time of high adventure, great heroism, and a chivalrous code of honorable
conduct.  In the years subsequent to the dark ages, when civilization on
the European, African, and Asian co ntinents ranged from highly
sophisticated to morbidly backward; the Amerindian tribes had evolved a
philosophy of life that causes me to pause in admiration. In the first
Gazette of the 21st century, I thought it might be valuable to examine,
just a littl e bit, who we are and why. Read a bit of the great warrior
Tecumseh's advice on life: 

"Live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. 

Trouble no one about their religion;  respect others in their view, and
demand that they respect yours. 

Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.

Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.

Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. 

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend,
even a stranger, when in a lonely place. 

Show respect to all people and grovel to none. 

When you arise in the morning give thanks For the food and for the joy of
living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in

Abuse no one and nothing, for abuse turns the wise ones into fools and
robs the spirit of its vision. 

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled
with the fear of death, So that when their time comes they weep and pray
for a little more time To live their lives over again in a different way. 
Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." 

The great chief's words humble and uplift me. I hope they do the same for
you -- Diz

     2. How smart ARE trolls, anyway?

Two trolls were hiking in the mountains when they came across an
apparently deep hole going straight down into the ground. 

"Wow," said the first guy.  "I wonder how deep it is?"

"I dunno," said the second.  "Let's find out."  With that, he dropped a
rock down the hole.  They waited and waited, but didn't hear it hit

"Hmm.  Let's try a bigger rock," said the first guy, and tossed a
watermelon sized stone down the hole.  They waited a couple of minutes,
but didn't hear it hit either.  So, they looked around for something
bigger to throw down and came across an old wagon, which they lifted
together and dumped down the hole.  Then suddenly, as they waited to hear
it hit, a cow streaked between the two of them and jumped straight down
the mine shaft. 

While they stood there scratching their heads in amazement, a third troll
came up the path and asked them if they'd seen his lunch, a cow wandering

"Yeah, just now," said one of the first two guys.  "It just ran up and
jumped down this hole." 

"Oh, well then it couldn't have been my cow," said the third troll.  "My
cow was tied to an old wagon." 

     3. Addicted to Avatar by Niki

Can't tear my eyes away from the screen
I begin to think
there must be forces at work unseen
because I don't want to quit

I've done everything I can think of today
I have 456 nectars on alts
and did everything I did say
but I wish to do more

So I begin to randomly go to sanctum invis
I bonked a newbie named Joe
twiddled a hero named Liz
but it wasn't enough

I sent a tell to every single player on the mud
saying goodnight, farewell, I'm going to bed
(I was just stalling, bud.)
By the time I was done it was morning.

So, I decided not to go,
(Who's ever heard of going to bed in the morning?)
so, I fought and defeated every single foe.
I'm still here. Oh well, What can I say? I'm

a d d i c t e d :)

     4. Sponging by Chuft

The art of the heroic sponge:
"who hero  rog 500-999"
Assuming you use Zmud:
#loop 20 tell (rogue) NeEd A HiTtEr, D00d?
If they fail to respond, beem them a few times.
Advertise your hitroll and damroll in your title. Exaggerate by an order
of magnitude. 
Repeat this with all the high heroes on, until you find somebody willing
to tank for you. 

Now you have a group, write a trigger to enter portals after the tank.
Forget to movehidden and sneak.
If the tank asks you to wear damage gear, wear mana gear.
If mana gear, wear ac gear.

Once the run starts, minimize the window and play on battle.net.
Turn off your beeps on avatar.
If you actually get bored enough to switch back to the window your
character is running in, try to kill off groupies. The favoured method for
doing this is to start throwing the mobs just before the level 1 hero
sprite mage in the group casts an attack sp ell. 

Follow these basic guidelines, and you will never lack for a group; you
will fly through hero. 

You willearn a reputation as an enviable and true hero,you will make lots
of friends and influence people. 

     5. Someday by CherrapunJi 

To the tune of Someday, by Sugar Ray.

Someday, when my groupies have passed me by
I'll lay around and wonder why you you always tanked for me
One day, In the eyes of some sprite guy
I'll look around for another group, and just sponge away

Just group with me and I'll tank you there
This place is war without a care
We'll take a swim in the Great Divide
I got to group, got to leave your side

Some say, better runs will come our way
no matter what they try to say, you were always tanking me
Someway, when the sun begins to shine
I fight a mob from another time and I'll fade away...
(back to chorus)

So far, so long, so far away
so far, so long, so far away (away, away)


     The Avatar Gazette is what you've just been reading, and it is the 
     official newsletter of Avatar, it is published weekly by Dizzy, in 
     conjunction with The Avatar Staff.(Original concept by Asamaro).

     The Gazette is written in plain vanilla ASCII text to ensure that
     everyone can enjoy it regardless of computer type.

     To subscribe to the Gazette, send internet e-mail to
     gazette-request@avatar.walrus.com. In the body of your
     email put:

       subscribe username@hostname (MudName - RealName)
       eg subscribe snikt@walrus.com  (Snikt - Kevin Jagh)

     Your real name is optional for the Gazette list.
       eg subscribe snikt@walrus.com (Snikt)

     You can FTP back issues of the gazette from ftp.walrus.com in

     If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, criticisms,
     compliments, or (best of all) articles that you've written for the
     gazette, please send them to Dizzy via my e-mail address:

     You can also view the latest issue of the Gazette while playing
     Avatar by typing 'help newgaz' anywhere in the game, or by surfing
     our web site!

 Distributed on the Avatar Gazette list ,
 via Walrus, Internet without Limits.  Comments and suggestions are
 welcome, use: gazette-owner@avatar.walrus.com.

 To unsubscribe, send email to: gazette-request@avatar.walrus.com
 with only the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the body of the message.

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