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Gazette 1999-09-11
Articles | Archives | Gazette | 1999 Gazettes | Gazette 1999-09-11
     ___The Official AVATAR___________________________________
        ________                          __     __           
       /  _____/ _____   ________  ____ _/  |_ _/  |_   ____  
      /     ___ __    ____  /_/ __ \   __\   ___/ __  
          _   / __ _ /    /   ___/ |  |   |  |    ___/ 
       ______  /(____  //_____  ___  >|__|   |__|   ___  >
              /      /       /     /                   / 
     ________________________________________ 11 Sep, 1999 ___

         _    |
          `   ~ )Telnet to Avatar at: avatar.walrus.com 3000   
            -  //         Visit the Avatar web page at:
       ,,.--(_ ("""'^.     http://www.walrus.com/~avatar
      ;;( ,___, ,/~`;   
     ;' )/>/  '--,      
        | `   |"       
        "   "  "
     Table of Contents

          1. Editorial by Dizzy 
          2. Advice to the Sponge by Storr
          3. Avatar ettiquette by Greywolfe
          4. Thank you for today by Nome
          5. Parody of the theme song to "Friends" by Aurelia 

     1. Editorial by Dizzy 

Once, just after orchestrating a fierce duel between the forces of Good
and the forces of Not-quite-so-good, I stumbled upon a situation that was
obviously in need of my insight and advice. It was one of those special
moments where circumstance and the Fa iry Godmother Syndrome (aka being in
the right place at the right time) conspire to inspire me to volunteer
Unsolicited Advice. 

Some really famous guy, whose name I can't recall atm, but I think it may
have been Lincoln... or perhaps it was Elmo.... said, "Free advice is
usually worth what you pay for it - Nothing".  Even though I understand
and more or less agree with this maxim, in the heat of the moment, the
rush of intuition, the blinding insight that always convinces me that I
can solve any problem, cure world hunger, I'm faster than a locomotive,
etc., etc.; I have difficulty reigning in my enthusiasm (Translation:
can't keep my mouth shut). 

Now, please know that my intentions were pure.  I had no ulterior motive
and was genuinely trying to be helpful.  Well, I guess deep in my heart,
the greedy little boy wanted some recognition for god-like powers of
cognition. Gimme some praise! Diz is such a BRAINIAC! Y'know, typical
meglomania, but I'm feeling MUCH better now, thank you. 

Here's the thing.  If the parties involved had ASKED for my sage advice
before I baptized them in it, we would have engendered the classic win-win
situation. They would have benefited from an outside perspective, I would
have gotten the instant gratification of exercising the Mr. FixIt side of
my persona.  However, since I engaged my alligator mouth before waiting
for my hummingbird brain to boot up; I facilitated the classic lose-lose
situation..  They walked away feeling imposed upon (who does this clown
think HE is anyway?), and I left feeling unappreciated and insignificant.

Here's the other thing.  Criticism is always painful.  Have you ever
grouped with a player and said something like, "You'd be much more
effective as a Tank if you'd only do-it-my-way-cause-I'm-smarter/more
experienced-than-you". SSSHHHHHHHHPP! The transmitter is operating at
100%, but the reciever has tuned out. 

Here's the very last thing(s).  Consider "The Oblique Approach" (read the
book by David Drake...it ROCKS): 
  - Don't plunge right in with suggestions, or worse, demands for change. 
Raise the topic in conversation, and guide the talk so that they ask you
instead of you preaching to them. 
  - Pick your time. It may not suit your purpose best to suggest a new
battle plan when your groupies are fighting for their lives, with only 20%
hp left. 
  - Don't let the lightning bolt of "My Way Is Better" blind you. Think it
through, sleep on it, gather more information, and make sure your way
really is better. Objectivity by definition means a lack of bias. You'll
propably want to bounce your ideas off a disinterested party as a sanity

Here's hoping that Dizzy finally "gets it".


     2. Advice to the Sponge by Storr

1) Triggers! Set up a trigger for everything!
   You can make yourself automatically enter
   portals and nexuses, rest, sleep and stand
   etc. etc. etc.

2) Don't void. This will kind of show everyone
   that you are sponging, and sometimes people
   will feel bad about this. Some tanks don't
   like sponges, so you better don't void. Make
   your wristwatch beep every fifth minute, and
   type in a "look" command.

3) If you are a caster, make a trigger to cast
   a spell, whenever an active person in the
   group does so. If you are a warriortype, make
   the trigger to smash instead. This will save
   you from voiding, too, unless the other group
   member is sponging, too.

4) Make a trigger to beep yourself when someone
   sends you a tell. Some very nasty tanks will
   do this if they think you are sponging. A
   beep will make you pay attention enough to
   answer their tell. Alternatively, turn on
   quiet mode.

5) Make up 5 different excuses for being afk
   midrun BEFORE you start the run, they can
   always come in handy. Examples are: "I needed
   to open a window", "My mom called me", "zMUD

6) If you are caught voiding, be ready to flame
   your tank on public boards. "He ungrouped me
   JUST because ". That will make all other tanks afraid
   of doing the same. And the imms would stop
   the thread before he can defend himself.

7) Make a trigger for deaths. Could be like "d;
   gt gurney me please; whine; gt You idiot! Why
   didn't you rescue?!??; whine; gt spell me up

     3. Avatar Etiquette by Greywolfe
Something that I've been noticing for a while is the behaviour of some
players towards their groups tank(s) and/or other groupies. It seems rife
in hero and mort groups but does to some extent occur in lord groups as

The amount of times I've seen tanks abused for a) not rescuing quick
enough, b) not getting enough xp on runs, ect ect, really leads me to
wonder why these people join the groups in the first place. Sure, their
might be times when there is a legitimate complaint over these issues, but
for some unless they can sit and do nothing for an entire run and pick up
5-6K + xp then its the end of the world. 

Basic respect for other players also seems to be declining. Simple things
from not spamming on a run to actually being at the kb for a majority of
the time. I realise there a times when someone might get d/c or lag out,
but having to be summoned by a tank because you were afk when they went to
another area is downright rude. 

An example: the other day a character was sorting out some gear, which
involved dropping some items on the ground. Another character around lvl
40ish mort came in and picked everything up, sacced a few items they
didn't want and then walked out without a word. Now I'm not sure if they
were unaware or just stupid, but that seems to sum up the attitude of some

Remember: theses are the people you have to play your character with. Try
and show maybe a little common sense and the game could be better for

After all; it is *only* a game in the end.

GreyWolfe, who tries not to be hypocritical.

     4. Thank You for Today by Nome

This is a beginning of a new day,
I can waste it or use it for good.

What I do today is important because
I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever -
leaving in its place something I have traded for it.

I want it to be gain, not loss; good, not evil; success, not faliure;
in order that I shall not regret the price I paid for today.

     5. Parody of the theme song to "Friends" by Aurelia

No one told you Lord was gonna be this way,
You lost your sword, You're bored,
Your gear got blown away!
It's like you're always stuck with sucky gear,
And you haven't leveled in what? a week, a month, or even a year?


Oh, No more groups for you,
(While the Imp's give restores)
No more groups for you,
(No more HoGs anymore)
No more groups for you,
Not til you group me too..

Your sprite gets killed by War, at least every day,
Your group is dead, cause Chuft led,
You'll get yelled at anyway!
It hurt when Bonk killed your lowbie cle today,
You haven't had luck since before entering War's swaree!

Repeat Chorus

No one would ever show you, no one would ever help you,
Seems Lords are the only ones who know what its like to be you,
Some spells to face the gish with, make it through the spires with,
Some spells you'll always winn with, Even at your worst, you've still got 

It's like you're always stuck with sucky gear
And you haven't leveled in what? a week, a month, or even a year? Ack!

Repeat Chorus

     The Avatar Gazette is what you've just been reading, and it is the 
     official newsletter of Avatar, it is published weekly by Dizzy, in 
     conjunction with The Avatar Staff.(Original concept by Asamaro).

     The Gazette is written in plain vanilla ASCII text to ensure that
     everyone can enjoy it regardless of computer type.

     To subscribe to the Gazette, send internet e-mail to
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     If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, criticisms,
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     gazette, please send them to Dizzy via my e-mail address:

     You can also view the latest issue of the Gazette while playing
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     our web site!

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