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Gazette 1996-07-08
Articles | Archives | Gazette | 1996 Gazettes | Gazette 1996-07-08
======================================================================
  The Avatar Gazette                    Vol III, No. 6 July 8th 1996
======================================================================
   (A Sunlight Through The Shadows Production)
 -------------------------------------------------------------------
  The Avatar Gazette is published once a month by AsaMaro in
  conjunction with (and full permission of) The Avatar Staff

  The Gazette is written in 100% pure ASCII to assure maximum 
  compatibility for all readers using whatever system they use

  Subscribe by writing to avatar-request@stolaf.edu and including the
  following in the body of your note:  subscribe gazette <your email
  address> <your name on the mud>

  You can now view the newest issue of the Gazette online on Avatar
  by typing 'help newgaz' anywhere in the game!

  Telnet to Avatar at: walrus.com 3000
 ===================================================================
  The Gazette Staff: AsaMaro, Marat, Contenda, and TMeat.
 ===================================================================
  The entire contents are copyrighted (c) 1996, Joe DeRouen.
  All rights reserved.  Individual articles not written by
  Joe DeRouen are also copyrighted (c) 1996 by the individual
  in question.  Any unauthorized reproduction (or changing of said
  contents) of the Gazette without fully expressed written 
  permission will result in prosecution to the fullest extent
  of the law. 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------    

                Table of Contents
                -----------------


           Page     1      Introduction
           Page     1      Table of Contents
           Page     2      AsaMaro's Editorial 
           Page     3      Back Issue Information               
           Page     3      Avatar Web Page Information
           Page     3      Immortal Bio: Archmage
           Page     4      Hero Bio: Jane    
           Page     5      Hero Bio: Duckie    
           Page     6      Hero Bio: Trent
           Page     6      Mortal Bio: SunShadow
           Page     7      Mob Bio: Tree Spirit by TMeat
           Page     8      Back From Vacation by Contenda
           Page    10      The Color of Mud by Marat
           Page    11      Grouping by Solkus
           Page    12      Interview with Theo by Contenda
           Page    15      Avatar Birthdays for July by Contenda
           Page    16      Intellitech Walrus advertisement

------------------------------------------------------------------------    

                              *
                * Okay, So We're Late Again . . . *
                              *

It's the 8th of July, 1996 as I type this, making this issue seven days
late.  The 4th of July could account for some of the delay, that and the
fact that the deadline for the magazine I write for in real life got
moved from the 8th to the 1st of the month.  Both of those things are
factors, but probably the biggest reason that this issue is late is that
I didn't get very many submissions.

TMeat got a real life (gasp!) job and wasn't able to get his stuff to me
before today.  Because of his tardiness, I'll be lowering his wages and
be paying him less MUD dollars than before.  Hey, I'm a tough taskmaster
when I have to be.  

But TMeat's job wasn't the only spoiler this month.  Rerun summed it up
when he said "Hey, you have to give us more than two weeks to get stuff
in!"  "But Rerun," I replied, smiling.  "When I asked if the Gazette
should be changed to bi-weekly rather than monthly, you were one of the
first ones to say 'Aye!'.  At that point, Rerun just blushed, through a
hunk of cheese at me, and teleported off to pester Tiamat of something. 

Two weeks between issues isn't much time, but, judging by the mail I've
gotten, you've all really enjoyed the Gazette's new schedule.  But I
can't do it without out.  I need submissions.  

If you enjoy reading the Gazette, why not try writing an article for it?
For example, during the Gazette's first several issues (then known as
the Farside Gazette) we ran articles based on each class.  Diamante
wrote the viewpoint of the warrior, I wrote the viewpoint of the martial
artist, Lurch wrote the viewpoint of the thief, etc.  Since that time,
the Psionicist has came into being.  If anyone wants to write a good,
solid "Viewpoint of the Psi" article, you'll get TWO levels for your
efforts.  (Immortals and Angels excluded from getting levels, of course)

Yes, here at the Gazette we pay you for your efforts!  A first-time
contributor is gifted with one level for their efforts.  Frequent
contributors will occasionally receive other gifts as well, including,
above all else, my gratitude.

So write for the Gazette!  What do you have to lose?  If you're not sure
what to write, drop me a note or some email and we'll talk.  I'm very
much open to suggestions for one-time articles or even a new column.

                   *         *        *  

Special thanks this issue go to SunShadow, Jane, Duckie, Trent, and
Solkus, and Theo.  As always, I couldn't do any of this without the help
of Marat, Contenda, and TMeat.  If you see them on Avatar sometime, tell
them you like their work; they'll appreciate the good words. 

                   *         *        *    

This just in - you can now view the newest issue of the Avatar Gazette
from inside the game real time by typing 'help newgaz'!  No more being
bored while you heal! :)  Lotsa thanks to DaWiz for making this
possible!  Let me know what you think of this new feature and whether
you prefer reading the Gazette online or off.

 --AsaMaro, July 8th, 1996

------------------------------------------------------------------------  

                 Back Issues of The Avatar Gazette

Back issues of the Gazette are now available via anonymous FTP at
ftp.walrus.com /pub/avatar/gazette.  There's a lot of other good stuff
available there as well.  Check it out!

                        Avatar's Web Page

While you're scuttling about the Internet, check out Avatar's Web Page at
http://www.walrus.com/~avatar.  Aegis has recently added a lot to the page,
so even if you've been there you should definitely take another look.

------------------------------------------------------------------------  

                * Avatar Immortal Bio *    

Name: Archmage  RL Name: Dustin Leavitt   Age: (Game) 212  (RL) 25  
Race: Half-elf  Class: Mage               Current level: 800 (God)

Real Life Interests:  

I'm a computer programmer for an Inc. magazine top 500 company.  I am
currently doing graphical design work on a vax, but I have been a Unix
system administrator for 2 years prior to that.  I grew up a nerd, went
to a nerd school, and graduated in a nerd degree, but I look more like a
jock.  (go figure!)  I am currently helping Evii (another Imm) code some
skills into her mud.  When not mudding I enjoy: running a PBEM game,
playing RPG's, and spending time with my son, as well as four-wheel
driving and watching martial arts films.  (I hold a black belt in
tae-kwon-do.)

Advice To Players: 

Best Advice: Don't annoy Snikt.  When he's happy, everyone is happy.
Other advice: ask questions.  You will never know if you don't ask.
Besides, it doesn't hurt (unless you ask Crom, and he just bites.)

Where Does Your MUD Name Come From:
Archmage is a character class in the Rolemaster RPG.  I GM a session every
week, and one of the best players I've ever had was an archmage, and is
well on the path to immortality himself.  He is also an integral part of a
PBEM game that I run.

------------------------------------------------------------------------    

                  * Avatar Hero Bio *  

Name: Jane      RL Name: Jane Yeo         Age: (Game) 27/147  (RL) 17  
Race: Human     Class: Warrior            Current level: 800   
 
Real Life Interests:  
 
I participate in social activities and enjoy helping the less fortunate. 
But majority of my time is devoted to computers. Have a love for 
computers that makes me almost nerdy 8)
I play a lot of chess and is the 'coach' for the women's team in my 
school (we wasn't able to get a professional coach). Generally spend a 
lot of time exploring the computer. Got Internet access last year and 
discovered Avatar at the end of October. The age in the game is 27 but 
actually it is probably around 147, since I lost the pfile recently. Now 
I'm rejuvenated :)

Advice To Players: 

The extensive help files created are for the benefit of all. When I 
first entered Avatar, it was the first mud I played and I give thanks to 
Leorick and Swiftsword, the first imms I met, and they helped me 
understand the game. But, I learn a lot more, on my own, when I browse 
through the 'commands'. When bored, healing or simply no one to group 
with, I typed 'commands' and a list of the commands start scrolling in.  
Then I typed help forage, help cast, help murder, etc, and find out what 
this commands mean. I learned a lot from them. Up till now, I believe 
some of the heros may not know commands like boss, boss2, etc. (Sneaky 
commands I assure you) Try, else you may look through the website 
http:walrus.com/~Avatar. A whole list of commands and its descriptions are 
available there.

Additional infomation never hurts. If knowledge is power, then the key to 
such great powers is to.....read the helps. :)
 
Where Does Your MUD Name Come From:
 
Sad to say, 'Jane' is my real name. When I first entered the mud by 
typing 'open walrus.com 3000', I was very excited. When asked to enter 
my character name, I tried several names like chaos, etc, but someone 
else was using it. On an impulse, I used my real name. It worked :)
Like other mud addicts, I was 'hooked' on to my terminal at the very 
beginning. In one week's time, I proceeded from level 1 to level 15. 
After that, I did not want to start a new character as I have made many 
friends and I don't intend to lose them. Hence, the character 'Jane' 
stayed.

Some may ask why did I call myself an amazon: Simply because I was 
astounded by the power that I wield when I was in the lower levels. 
With the power and the class I was in, in jest, I called myself an 
Amazon. Btw, Tarzan and me...heh, no relations. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                  * Avatar Hero Bio *

Name: Duckie    RL Name: Arjan Drieman    Age: (Game) 151 years (RL) 21
Race: Human     Class:   Martial Artist   Current level:  Hero 152

Real Life Interests:

I am a student on the 'Hogeschool van Amsterdam', and I study computer
science. Of course, this study comes with free internet access, and last
novemeber, I saw my friends playing a funny game: AVATAR. That's when I
got addicted, too :) When it's not broken down, I love to drive my
motorbike, a Suzuki GSX1100E from 1982. It's an old one, but speedy :)
Furthermore, I live with my father in Hilversum, about 30 kilometer
southeast from Amsterdam, and I have a little rat called Sacha. (No, she
doesn't bite!)

Advice To Players:

Err, be nice to AsaMaro ?? :)

No, just kidding, well, first of all, choose a nice race with your
class, 2nd of all, ask for a boost, furthermore, play the game! I think
healing potions are great for lower lvls, can make a big difference. And
of course, group! Besides it's nice to talk while ya fight or heal up,
it makes a big difference. I always enjoyed the game the most if I was
grouped with 2 or 3 other fellows. I think a bigger group is only
annoying. And another advise, thank the hero who gives ya a cr. It's so
easy, like: tell Rimbaud than you! (Often, it happens to be Rimbaud who
does a cr :P ) Oh, and every now and then, go explore a new area, it's
fun! Every now and then, when I got tired of spelling up, killing,
healing up, spelling up, killing, etcetcetc, I went somewhere, where I
prolly died, or got some equipment fried, or needed the help of an
immortal to get it back in the first place :P Of course, this imm asked
me for something in return, well, I hope my Apoc helm tasted good.  Some
more advise: If you find something in the game you really like, please
keep your mouth shut about it, or some nasty imm will remove it from the
game... 

Where Does Your MUD Name Come From:

My mud name... Well, that's a long story. On my last school, the
'Hogeschool van Utrecht', we didn't have internet access, but we only
had PC's linked in a local ethernet network. We liked to chat during the
lessons, so we used an ethernet chatbox for that, NetCB. The program had
a nasty checksum in it, so you couldn't change it. Of course, I loaded
the program in my debugger, and screwed up the checksum. After that, I
could make several nice welcome messages. Like IRC, the program said
something like: On channel <>, <nick> joins in in the chat. One time, I
changed it like: Please welcome Duckie, swimming happily in his pool or
something. From that time, my nick was Duckie, later on IRC, and more
later on AVATAR. And my 2nd char is Slowy, because I thought I would
level him reeeeaaaaally slow, wasn't that slow after all.  My 3rd char
is Donald, to keep it in the family, and my 4th char is Transformer,
because his only reason of existence was transmuting stuff for me. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                  * Avatar Hero Bio *  

Name: Trent     RL Name: Scott Taylor     Age: (Game) 194  (RL) 18   
Race: Elf       Class: Cleric             Current level: 327   

Real Life Interests:  

Well, I am going to be a sophomore at the University of California, San
Diego in the fall.  I am studying Computer Science, which I have enjoyed
ever since I was a little kid.  I hope to use it and get into the field
of computer animation.  When I am not doing school work, (which is most
of the time), I am playing on the internet, which I find fascinating.  I
learned HTML on my own, and hope to learn Java soon.  Currently I am
studying C++, which I hope to use to write some areas for a mud.  My
other hobbies include listening to my extensive music collection,
working on my car, dancing, hanging out with my friends, and basically
having a good time. 

Advice To Players:  

Much like everybody else says, grouping is the key to Avatar.  However,
I think there is a more important piece of advice to give.  The top
thing to do when mudding is to HAVE FUN!  If you are not having fun,
then why are you on Avatar?  Group, make friends, joke, and have a ball.
Only then can you truly enjoy the mud which we call Avatar. 

Where Does Your MUD Name Come From: 

Most people that know me know that my name comes from the singer of Nine
Inch Nails, Trent Reznor.  One of the most important things in my life
to me is my music.  I really enjoy Trent Reznor, and the kind of person
he is.  He is very dark and morbid, and kind of out there, like me. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                  * Avatar Mortal Bio *

Name: SunShadow    RL Name: Sandy Stark   Age: (Game) 85/136hrs (RL) 23
Race: Mage         Class: Human           Current level: 19

Real Life Interests: 

I don't have any real life interests I'm always on AVATAR. <Giggle>
Okay, So I do squeeze spending time with my RL hubby, reading, and
starting a daycare in my home into my life outside of the MUD. 

Advice To Players: 

I'm not a great person to ask advice from as I've been lvl 19 for about
a year!  But if I had to name one thing that was important to me it
would be getting to know the people on AVATAR. Without your MUD
neighbors AVATAR would be nothing but Mobs walking around in perfect
health. 

Where Does Your MUD Name Come From: 

SunShadow came from my first char, Stormy on INN. (Some people might
tell you stormy was my personality but don't listen to them) A storm
cloud makes a "Sun Shadow".  SunShadow's nick name is Sunny or at times
EvilSunny. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mob Bio
by TMeat

                  * Avatar Mob Bio *

Name: Tree of Knowledge   RL: Woody Woodson          Age: Eternal (RL) ?   
Race: Oak                 Class: Spirit              Current level: all
                    Area: Meadow

The Spirit of the Tree of Knowledge was created by a magician of unknown
name and origin with the primary purpose of confusing newbies.
 
All day long the spirit seems to get tickled pink by saying such words
as 'iasrod' and 'ziwad,' confusing the heck out of visitors to Avatar. 
It is thought that these words are actually curse words in the treeish
language. 

From the outside, this tree looks somewhat normal, but from the inside
is far from it.  It is almost as spacious as Bill Gates' new west coast
mansion, minus the trampoline room, of course.  The variety of rooms,
such as the entrance, Darii's kitchen, the tunnels of light, and the
cages brings specualtion that the tree is at the center of an
inter-dimensional rift of tremendous proportions.  Others have
speculated that the tree of knowledge is actually a TARDIS controlled by
Dr. Who's nemisis, the Master.  But people who speculate that are
laughed at whenever they enter the room at a keg party. 

The Donation Room, at the bottom of the tree, is one of it's more
curious aspects.  Thousands of items appear there each day, some of
actual worth.  Professional sages have done research on this, and have
come up with the conclusion that the tree creates these things.  They
have drawn up immense scrolls showing how the roots take in the raw
materials from the soil, process these materials, and fabricate the end
products.  Why the tree does this, no one knows.  But the sages
speculate that these swords, boots, amulets, and other items have no
other purpose but to infuriate adventurers who are looking for affodable
clothing in fashion colors. 

The Spirit of the Tree of Knowledge also likes to teach people things. 
This has been explained as an ego-trip on the tree's behalf, since it
obviously thinks that it is the God's gift to mortals.  Immenent
psychoanaliticalmagiologists have attempted to get into contact with the
Spirit of the Tree of Knowledge to offer counciling to it, but it will
not return their phone calls and refuses to tell anyone it's fax number.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                          Back from Vacation
                             by Contenda

"Good morning", I gushed, as I walked in, my tan a few shades darker than
the last time he had seen me.

"Um...Good morning" AsaMaro grunted. "What do you want?"

"Just wanted to check in, this is my first day back from my vacation,
remember?"

"Oh. Yeah. So it is."

"Who was that I just saw leaving?" I asked as I sat on a corner of his desk.

"Get off my desk!" AsaMaro growled. "Just leaving? Oh, that was.....that
wasn't anybody. Just a salesman."

"It looked like Tmeat from the back," I thought aloud.

"Well, it wasn't. Do you want something, or are you just here to pester me?"

Taking a deep breath, I said "Well, actually, yes. I was wondering when
I would get my office."

"What office? Who said anything about you having an office?" AsaMaro was
fishing around in the piles of paper on his desk.

"I just thought that since I was working here full time now, I needed
an office." I murmured.

"What for?" His eyebrows raised in a question.

"Well, for stuff like, well, to have a place to write things."

"What is wrong with your shack? Don't you have a table there?" he asked
impatiently.

"I thought that I could have an office here, at the Gazette. Where I
could write my stories and do my research."

AsaMaro snorted, but I continued on.

"I wouldn't need anything fancy, just a desk and a terminal."

"Well, we might be able to squeeze a place over in that corner." He pointed
to a bare area in his office.

I gasp.

Imagine, sharing an office with the great AsaMaro, I thought. I would be
able to absorb his years of knowledge. I could watch him at work. He would
be here handy for grammar or spelling questions. I don't think I would
mind this at all.

Imagine, sharing an office with Contenda, AsaMaro thought. She probably
knows how to make coffee, and having someone to bring me a Danish now
and then would be nice. Maybe I can teach her to run  the press. Then
I can let those darn union elves go. She would be here at my beck and
call all of the time.  She would be here pestering me, is what will
happen. She will probably mess up all my papers, and might even try to
organize things here. I don't think I like this at all.

Asamaro frowns, deep in thought.

I grin.

Asamaro frowns, deep in thought.

My grin falters a bit.

"I think there is a broom closet down the hall, that would work out better
for you." Asa finally said.

I gasp.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. That would be great. My own office! "I will need a desk."

"I'll have something moved in there." Asa scribbled a note to himself.

"And a PC"

Nodding, Asa continued writing.

"With a modem, and a phone." I added.

AsaMaro paused, then nodded and wrote some more.

"A nice comfy chair, " I continued.

Another nod.

I took a deed breath. "A printer, make it an Epson, a television - any
brand will do, a police scanner, a filing cabinet and a bookshelf."

AsaMaro looked at me in amazement, and started to rise from his chair.

I took a step backwards, and continued. "A small fridge, and a microwave."

He was still coming up from his chair, his arm starting to raise from his
side.

"My own washroom and a cot."

His arm continued to rise, and I continued to take small steps backwards.

"Air conditioning, and a big b..."

"That is enough!" He bellowed. 

I cowered.

His arm had now reached it's goal. He was pointing towards the door.
Through clenched teeth, he uttered "Go now!! Go down the hall to the
closet. I will have a table and a computer brought in. I don't want to
hear another word out of you today!"

"Can I have a.." I whispered.

"Not another word!" he screeched, still pointing.

"Ok, ok." I was backpedaling towards the door.

AsaMaro returned to his chair, and put pencil to paper once again.

"What was that salesman selling? I still think he looked an awful lot
like Tmeat!' were my last words before I pulled the door shut.

As I started down the hall towards my new office, I remember the other
thing I had went there to ask him about, reimbursement for my press card.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                             The Color of Mud
                                 by Marat

    My pockets were feeling a little empty, and just like others who had
complained, I was feeling the pinch. I needed some more gold or at least
a treasure to sell. I put on my wandering boots and started hunting.
    I walked into a house in Midgaard and kicked some broken pottery,
but found nothing. Snikt charges us immortals a high rent and AsaMaro
and I live in prime property. Sometimes I can conjure my own gold, but
it just seems to disappear through my fingers.
    I walked into the hive, killed three aliens and netted only 79 gold
coins. I didn't really expect they would be carrying much, but I was
hoping for something good to sell. Nothing.
    I killed a bookish mage in the library at Ultima. He was carrying
almost 800 gold and had a snazzy dagger I could sell. I was beginning to
like that jingling sound when I walked.
    But where was the big money? I wanted a large haul for my efforts.
Then I thought, pirates! They steal money. I went to Freeport in the
secret cave of some pirate or other and found this very wealthy merchant
named Oglethorpe. I relieve him of his heavy purse to the tune of
100,000 coins. Now that was more like it.
    I sauntered with my newfound wealth and self-importance into The
Cliffhanger bar in Kerofk. I glanced at the bartender peeking magically
in his pockets. I would expect him to have collected fair coinage from
the numerous drunk patrons, but he seemed picked clean. I ordered a cup
of tea, garnering suspicious looks from the regulars, and planned my
next foray.
    I strode into Camelot, killed Mordred in one hit, and took his
golden armor to sell. The armourer impatiently gave me just under 5000
coins for it. I felt disappointed. I still wanted to find a treasure.
    Then something tickled the back of my mind. Something about the High
Tower of Sorcery. Ah, yes. High up in the tower was the Grand Mistress
and from her I had to get a key, then search farther to find the
treasury and a large chest there. 
    I grabbed the intricately carved key from the Mistress, found the
Treasury unlocked and saw the chest. I unlocked it, opened it, and found
25,000 gold coins just shining and waiting for me.
    Even better, I found the chest to be more than magical and in a
short time, it had renewed its treasure. Like a fountain of money, I
merely waited and then filled my gold pouch. At last, I had found the
treasure I wanted. And for those who dare the ire of the Grand Mistress,
feel free to share it with me.
    Snikt will get his rent on time. I can pay back TMeat the money I
owe him for that lamb dinner at Werith's. And I can buy AsaMaro some of
that really fine parchment he wants to write on.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                        Grouping   
                        by Solkus

I would like to take a moment to talk about grouping.  Grouping is a
good thing and almost necessary to advance in AVATAR.  Grouping allows
you and your group to kill much larger mobs then you would be able to
solo.  I know this because I for one hated to group, until I made level
30 and kept dying solo.  I disliked groups because they were troublesome
and the people I grouped with were still new, as I was.  I could solo
and get better experience then when I grouped so I didn't group much.
But I would like to try and help you, if you feel the same as I.  Here
are a few tip that I have found helpful. 

1.  Group with people you know.  This way you each become accustomed to
    each other's fighting style and won't get confused.  Our if you
    don't know anyone, type who and a level range and ask them if they
    want to group.  This way you make friends and you never can have too
    any friends. :)

2.  Get a plan of attack.  Too often I have died because I thought the
    warrior was going to rescue but they didn't know they were suppose
    to, or someone trips or throws and changes tanks to the mage and the
    mage dies.  This is is just poor planing.  When you get together,
    decide on a tank, rescuer, who starts the fight, and if to throw or
    trip, etc. 

3.  The more the merrier.  Group with alot of people.  That way you make
    more friends. :)  But don't group with so many that the whole group
    gets low experience.  There are a lot of people that play AVATAR so
    groups are plentiful. 

4.  Group with anyone.  If you chat "anyone want to group" and a person
    that is lower level then you responds then help them out a little. 
    When they reach your level they may repay the favor. :)  Plus
    helping makes you feel all fuzzy inside. 

5.  Decide where to go.  I have seen groups that can't decide on where
    to go.  Suggest a place where you think your group might get good
    experience and see if the group likes the place.  And ask someone if
    you can't decide with chat or tell. 

6.  Lead if you know where to go.  Leading is an important job.  You
    control the movement of the group.  I like to lead because then I
    know where I am.  But if you know a way to a place then offer to
    lead and if you get lost let the group know and maybe someone in the
    group can help.  But remember to let the group know where to set
    recall so if you do get lost you can recall to the same place and
    try again.  Also this is good in case someone dies, because then the
    mage doesn't have to do a portal or you have to ask for a CR. 

7.  Group as much as you want.  Some days I feel like soloing to
    identify stuff and go equipment hunting.  Some days I am close to a
    level, less then 200 away and I group to level.  It is okay to deny
    a grouping request, most people have to solo everynow and then, but
    be polite, and it is more beneficial by far to group. 

8.  Most importantly respect.  Please respect the other group members
    and would-be group members.  If you need a group then ask before
    joining, don't just assume that because you ask you will be invited,
    but most time you will be.  If you must deny a grouping offer, be
    nice and once you are finished doing what you are doing they offer
    to group the person that asked you.  Also if a group is having
    problems taking the mobs, don't get rattled and disband.  Try
    different approches to the battle; you'll most likely find a winning
    combination of talents. 

I hope this helps someone, it has me.  Grouping is the best way to mud
because it is relatively safe for all characters (except perhaps for the
tank) and is a great way to expand your mudding horrizons,

------------------------------------------------------------------------

              Everything you ever wanted to know about Mud-Marriage
                            An Interview with Theo
                                By Contenda

I am always nervous when conducting these immortal interviews. I thought
that they would come easier over time, but so far that hasn't happened. 
Today I have a strange quivery feeling in my stomach. 

I curtsey to Theo.

Theo says "Would you like to see my bedroom?"

As I peeked through the door, and saw the mirrored ceiling, I realized
what that quivery feeling was. Keep your mind on business, I warned
myself. 

"Your title is "Patron Deity of Lust and MudMarriage?" I asked first,
making a little tick mark in my notepad. 

"This is my present title. It was at first 'Follower Of The 97 Steps'
from a series of Sci-Fi novels." Theo answered. 

Since I know absolutely nothing about Sci-Fi, I decided to just go on to
the next question. 

"How did you acquire this honor? Assigned or was it self-endowed?"

Theo throws his shoulders back. "HEY I'm damn well..oooh... the
TITLE.....  I suppose you might say it was self-endowed "

"So this wasn't assigned as a duty? It is something you do on  your
own?"

"I did it on my own,  in fact it took a little convincing to get the
ball rolling. I feel that as the only purely 'social' aspect of the  mud
I should support it as much as I can " Theo grins. 

"How many mud-marriages have you performed?"

Theo scratched his head. "Jeez... hundreds maybe....lots :-) "

"Do you keep any records on this? Names, etc?" I wandered over to the
bookshelves, and run my finger down the spines of the many books. 

"Nope. No records, being that its easy to get 'divorced' and people pop
in and out of the mud, I didn't think it would make a lot of  sense,
especially since the split."

"Did you write the vows yourself?"

"Yep...they're all mine, but they've developed over time"

"Err...How much time? How long have you been doing this?"

"Hm. A couple of years now at least...maybe Snikt can remember..been
doing it almost for as long as I've been an imm. I was doing it  before
Nugie left, whenever that was."

I make a note to find out who or what Nugie is.

"How do you do crowd-control at a wedding? Have you ever kicked anyone
out before the ceremony?" I have a mental image of Theo tossing somebody
out, Three Stooges style. 

"I usually tell people to Shaddup." he grins. "If its really noisy, I'll
silence the room and tell people to behave. There have been a couple of
ejections but overall everyone's been pretty good."

"I am sure that they are all different. Which was the most the most
memorable?"

"My Own. I had to be forced to say 'I Do!'" Theo chuckles. 

THUMP!

I blush.

I pick myself up from the chair which had topped over.

"By who? " I continue on, hardly missing a beat, but trying to keep the
grin from my face. 

"Hm....lemme check. Heh. It was Ryu. I actually have the wedding saved
in fact."

"Do you happen to know the longest lasting mud-marriage, that you performed?"

"Tough call. As far as I know Flute and Ryu are still married, and
they've been together for ....a long time now. They were married before
the split happened. In fact I think they were among the first couples I
married.  The shortest of marriages, heh, under 24 hours."

"The help screen states that the only requirement is that you must be at
least 25 mud-years old. Why is that?" I asked. 

"I want PLAYERS to get married. I didn't want people to just drag their
boyfriends/girlfriends on to get married to them. I figured if I  put in
a 'minimal' age, that I'd be discouraging that sort of thing."

"Do people under the minimum age still ask you?"

"Sometimes, and I'm willing to waive it if they have another PC that has
been around, and 25 really isn't that 'old' only takes like 15 hours
playing time."

"It also doesn't state that it must be a female and a male. Have you
married any same-sex couples?"

"Hm. My first marriage was to Kerrie, who was a male playing a female
character, but actually no, however, I'd have NO problem with doing it. 
Race/gender/pc status doesn't really matter to me. What DOES matter is
that 2 (or more!) people are happy being 'together' and want to make it
official "

"Hm...or more.....would you marry a threesome?" I couldn't help but
grin. 

"Sure thing....and I'd trans them all to the honeymoon suite if that's
what they wanted. I'll marry anyone who wants to get married. Its safe
to get married here"

"What is the procedure for newly engaged couples to follow? Contact you
first?"

"Officially, anyone can do a ceremony, as it has no 'real' weight,
though if you want me to do the ceremony, yeah, gimme a holler !"

"How do they get their rings renamed? Do you do that?"

"Usually I restring wedding bands Right before the ceremony takes place,
though again, I have no exclusivity to this."

"Who makes the cake? It's yummy!"

Theo bows.

"I'm the chef. Actually, they're cherry pies that I restring using a
Macro in-masse. I LOVE tintin!"

"And what about this honeymoon suite? How do the newly-weds get there?"

"I didn't make the honeymoon suite, however, I'm glad that someone did. 
(I don't recall who offhand) I just trans people in. I made the chapel,
after pestering the hell outta Snikt.  I needed a place to DO the
weddings "

Theo sighs. "Gotta talk to Mendek about the exit again."

"There isn't one, is there?" I am confused.

"There IS a chapel. The exit originally let out at Aelmon, but that was
before the 'remap', now it lets out in some tower in Midguaard  You can
recall from it as well, and its NoFight and NoSpell."

"How long are they allowed to stay in the honeymoon suite?"

"There is no official limit on your 'stay' in the honeymoon suite. In
fact once for a 'double wedding' I ended up giving one couple the suite
and another my bedroom.  They were in my bedroom awhile."

"Speaking of which," Theo continues, "Are you sure you don't want to see
my bedroom a little more closely? I have some very interesting things in
there". 

I blush.

Theo grins.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                  AVATAR Birthdays for July
                         by Contenda

                Birthday                Player
        ==================================================
                07/02                   Xar
                07/04                   Taris
                07/06                   KasierSoze
                07/28                   Trent
                07/29                   Ronan

Please contact Contenda either at Avatar, or at Contenda@Skyenet.net to
have your birthday added to the list.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                 Intellitech Walrus
                 ------------------

As all of you have no doubt noticed, we're up on a great Internet site;
Intellitech Walrus!  Lag has been at a minimum while MUD enjoyment has
been at a maximum, thanks to Snikt and Walrus owner Michael Rosenthal.
Intellitech Walrus is a really great system, not even considering the
MUD; for fifteen bucks a month, you get a shell account with a whopping
10 Meg of storage space.  Who could ask for anything more?  They also
have some great deals on PPP accounts and several other pricing levels.
If you live in the 212 New York area code, you should really check into
getting an account with Intellitech Walrus.  Check out their web page at
http://www.walrus.com or call them at 212/466-5000.  You can also
request information via writing email to info@walrus.com.  Tell 'em
Snikt and AsaMaro at The Avatar MUD sent ya! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------    
 

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