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Gazette 1995-04-10
Articles | Archives | Gazette | 1995 Gazettes | Gazette 1995-04-10
  The Farside Gazette                  Vol II, No. 6 Apr. 10th 1995

  The Farside Gazette is published twice a month by AsaMaro in
  conjunction with (and full permission of) The Farside Staff

  The Gazette is written in 100% pure ASCII to assure maximum
  compatibility for all readers using whatever system they use

  Subscribe by writing to jderouen@crl.com and including just one
  word - Subscribe - in the body of your text

  Telnet to Farside at: mud.atinc.com 3000

                     Table of Contents

                Page   1        Introduction
                Page   1        Table of Contents
                Page   1        AsaMaro's Editorial
                Page   2        Back Issue Notice
                Page   2        Player Bio: Marmot
                Page   3        Immortal Bio: Strahd
                Page   4        Rox: An Interview by Arundel
                Page   6        Aelmon Interview by Marat
                Page   8        Top Ten List by Beauford
                Page   9        What is a Marmot? by Marmot
                Page   9        Melanie's Mobile Advice Column
                Page  10        A Lizard Man's Story by Eldritch
                Page  11        Musings by AsaMaro
                Page  12        Farside Additions by AsaMaro
                Page  12        Farside Birthdays by Ambrosia
                Page  13        Farside News


                  *  Another Contest! *

The Farside Gazette (ie: AsaMaro) is offering a prize to the best new
article or column submitted to the Gazette.  The column or article can
be on anything dealing with Farside and should be sent to
jderouen@crl.com.  The contest deadline is open ended; it ends when I
feel I've gotten enough entries.

So far, the only entry I've yet to get that's been specifically
earmarked for the contest has been Melanie's Mobile Advice Column (see
below).  Thanks Mel, and you did a great job!  I hope you continue to
write more.

I'll publish more article as they come.  Make sure to comment to me
(online, in notes, or in mail) on what you think of the gazette and the
articles therein contained.  I'm always listening!

                   *         *        *

I'm working on some guidelines for submissions to the Gazette.  I'll
post on FS and in the next issue of the Gazette how to get the document
once I'm finished with it.

                   *         *        *

Make sure to wish RoX a happy birthday on April 19th!  Our beloved IMP
will be 68,342 years old.  In MUD years, of course!

                   *         *        *

Special thanks this issue to Arundel, Marat, Marmot, Beauford, Melanie,
and Eldritch for their contributions!

And thanks to all of you for reading,



                 Back Issues of The Farside Gazette

Back issues of the Gazette are now available for FTP at atinc.com in
/pub/mud/gazette .  While you're scuttling about the internet, check out
Farside's new WWW page at http://zeus.atinc.com/mud.html .


                   * Farside Player Bio *

Name:     Marmot          Age: 179  (RL) 20
Race:     Duergar       Class: Warrior Hero     Current level: 24 Hero

Interests and Background:
Paul is a Junior year pre-Med Biochemistry major at Vassar College in
Poughkeepsie, NY with a minor in Medieval and Rennaisance Studies. He is
originally from Middletown, CT where he has lived all his life, although he
attended Choate Rosemary Hall in Wallingford, CT for high school. At
school, Paul is very interested in laboratory research, which he has been
pursuing for several years. Paul loves the outdoord - a real mountain
person who would (believe it or not) strap on a backpack before playing
Farside (hence using a type of high altitude alpine rodent as a character
name). It is because of this interest that Paul spent a semester at the
University of Otago in Dunedin New Zealand, where he discovered a Telnet
Set icon of Farside on one of the campus Macs, and made that fateful double
click. Paul's goals in the near future are to survive this semester and the
start of the medical school application process, find a job for the summer,
and stick it out 2 more months until his beloved girlfriend Sophie comes
home from her year abroad in France.

Advice to Other Players:
Of course the most important advice anyone can give is to group, but since
it is so heavily addressed, I will offer an observation that perhaps only
heroes really understand. This is the concept of self sufficiency which is
becoming scarce with the gross overpopulation of heroes. It is very easy to
ask heroes for spells, or levels, or enchants, or equipment, but the
frequency of such requests suggests that players are really unwilling to
attempt to accomplish something on their own, when it's easier to just ask.
And believe me, we want to help you, but we also want to encourage your
familiarity with the game, your patience, and an appreciation of the
challenge inherent in levelling and heroing. If every player in their teens
had invicibility cast on them, it would deprive them of the challenge that
fighting giants and dwarven guards and at Werith's Wayhouse would offer. I
tend to be liberal with spells, but giving you spells or especially
levelling you are random acts of charity and kindness that are not to be
solicited, let alone expected. When I became a Hero, I recognized how
little I knew the game (I didn't even know there was a west gate until
level 25 or so) and I received no notable help from heroes until my 40s. I
do not mean to disillusion anyone about the role of a hero, but rather
encourage you to accept your role as a player character and avoid looking
for human shortcuts with emotions and guilt and thresholds to gain your
equipment and levels. After all, I assume that those who never ask for help
are those that will appreciate it most when it's offered. And you thought
rodents were dumb... :)


                  * Farside Immortal Bio *

Name: Strahd           Age: ???(RL) 24
Race: Demon       Class: Thief        Current Level: 63

Interests and Background in real life:

Strahd lives in Berkeley, California, USA. When not stuck in depths of
Hell in Farside planning some new evil torment; He enjoys watching
Chinese movies, cooking, and sleeping.  Currently he is attempting to
graduate from San Francisco State University, and is going on his 7th
year in college. Strahd is going for the 20 year college plan....

Strahd has been living in Farside for about 1.4 years and has watched
with avid interest as it changed and grew into the lands we see today.
He is of Japanese descent, 5'-7" tall, with a full head of hair.

Currently he spends his days working at an architectural firm as a
computer consultant; Merrily attempting to upgrade the macintosh network
to acceptible levels and trying in vain to get management to upgrade the
office pc's out of the 8088 platform.

As a coder of Farside, Strahd spends his time locked in the pits of Hell
attempting to create new creatures of horror, and lands of wonder to keep
the mortals entertained.

Advice to Players:

1. If you like to roleplay....just do it.

2. There is a large picture of Snikt in hell for those who don't want
   to play by the rules to watch.....forever...

3. Explore, Explore.... the world is one of the largest around....
   enjoy it....

"Come to hell....our heating bills are lower..."

"Hell is better than.....the other place...
 We have heated swimming pools, heated tennis courts,....
  we have heated everything...."

The following comments are in no way the views of the population of Hell
and will be denied and contested if investigated.

Strahd does not really follow the path of evil. He just plays that on
Farside. It has also been heard that Strahd isn't really a doctor. He
just plays one on TV.


                           the interview

                                                by Arundel

<1000 344 1000 420> look rox
You are blinded!
You see an intense white light.
Looking at Rox blinds you!
You do not see that here.

<1000 344 1000 420> get pink master
You do not see that here.

<1000 344 1000 420> sigh
You sigh.
Someone chuckles.

<1000 344 1000 420>
Someone utters the words 'mass aid'.
You feel better.
Your vision returns.
You can see again!

        So began the interview I had been waiting for and trying to get
for over a month.  We were sitting in the Black Hole.  RoX had come and
found me on Merchant's Row, an invisible someone I couldn't see even with
my wyvern tattoo on my left wrist.  Slowly, he made himself known and we
decided it was time for the interview.  Once in the Black Hole, he made
himself visible and changed his title to...IS VERY BUSY DO NOT DISTURB OR
BE SILENCED...did I dare open my mouth?

Arundel: OK, to start off with, what's your name in RL?

Rox changes the channel on the radio.
Arundel nods solemnly.

Rox: Pass. ;)

A: What do you do in RL?

Silence. No answer.
Arundel nods solemnly.

A: Was Rox ever a mortal?
R: Yes, Rox was a mortal for 4 or 5 months.  On Midievia, Kalistta, and
   one other.  Mainly played on Midievia and then they started getting too
   restrictive so I started Farside.

A: Do you have other characters now?
R: Yes, a few. 4 or 5.
A: One of each class, I'd guess?
R: (shakes head) Usually mages or mars.  I really want to add Envey's psi
   class to Farside.
A: What's the psi class?
R: Psionics class.  Telepathy etc.  Mental powers. Something I lack in
   RL. ;) (chuckles)
A: Is this likely to happen soon?
R: As soon as I get time to put it in.  Been pretty busy lately with work
   and RL.  This mudding admin can take many many hours a week. Like 20
   hours no problem.

A: OK, this brings us to FS.  What exactly are your duties here?
R: I oversee all builders, coders, and admin personnel.  I code, build
   areas, debug areas, debug code.
A: Anything else?
R: I help people, jail people, laugh with people, and console people.

A: What's your relationship with Snikt?
R: Snikt and I have...[That]'s a tough one. Later. (pauses) I need to
   think how to describe it. Basically, we get along fine. I'll leave it
   at that.
A: Is it a cooperative relationship, or is one of you more of a boss?
R: It's a cooperative one, he bugs me and I bug him.  That's how we get
   so much done. We nag each other. ;)

A: We mortals sometimes get the impression that you two are the top admin
   of this mud.  Is that right?
R: Actually, there are 4 admin types and two coders.  DaWiz, Dizzy, Snikt
   and I are admin.  I also code with Ironhand and Strahd.  We all treat
   each other as equally as possible.  Any disputes are handled as they
   arise.  I think we have had one such incident.
A: I won't ask.

A: OK, now, are you proud of FS?
R: Well, yeah, mainly I'm proud of all the hard working people who make
   Farside what it is.

A: A few minutes ago, you said you had started FS. Who was here from the
R: From the onset?  you mean who is still here?
A: Well, who worked with you to start it?
R: Dizzy then Strahd.  No one really helped me start it.  I started it
   myself and then recruited people as it progressed.

A: I learned about Farside from rec.games.mud.diku or something like that.
   Did you post there to get players?
R: No, I didn't know that there was so much out there on mudding.  I just
   told a few people that I played with on other muds and they came over.
A: So who posted to r.g.m.d?  Do you know?
R: I dunno who did that actually.  I think it may have been Dizzy.

A: OK, one more question, I think...do you have a vision of the future
   for Farside?
R: We are currently developing a new type of mud based off the merc code.
   Ironhand is developing the code, many of the ideas being implemented
   are based on concepts that have been taken from feedback.  This
   Farside will live on, though.  This is MY Farside, and I will not part
   with it willingly. ;)  It will be undergoing major rewrites and area

A: OK, I think that's all.  Thanks a LOT for your time and the
   interview.  Any closing remarks?
R: My name in RL is Richard Shaw.  I will be 35 on April 19.  I'm married
   and have three children.  We live in a little house in Connecticutt,
   USA. My favorite all time movie is Monty Python's Holy Grail.  OK,
   I'll shut up now.


                            Aelmon: The Interview
                                  by Marat

The center of Farside can rightly be put at Temple Plaza. At the center
of the plaza stands a pious gentleman by the name of Aelmon. Most of you
will know him as the man who offers a few helpful things for sale and
who, for the right amount of gold, will heal you. But, what of the
private man behind the healer's robes?  What of that Aelmon? I decided
to find out.

I walked up to Aelmon quietly and suggested that we go someplace to
talk. He tried to sell me a brass lantern, but I declined and again
offered my invitation for some conversation, perhaps over a cup of tea.
He shrugged and motioned for us to go. To expedite matters, I had the
all-purpose red dragon transport us to Basil Leafe's Tea Room in Solace.
We found a table in the corner, ordered some peppermint tea and began
our talk.

Marat: First, Aelmon, let's cover the basics. You have a small retail

Aelmon: Yes, I offer a simple lantern and three different vials of
exceptional magic. Lots of citizens of the realm depend on me for what I
like to call "portable magic." What warrior would travel far without
some healing in a bottle? (Aelmon chuckles at his minute joke.)

M: You are also well-known as a healer. What do you offer those who seek
your powers?

A: For varying amounts of gold I can cure wounds from light to very
critical. If I didn't offer this, those who battle would spend much more
time sleeping off their ills. I cure blindness, disease and poison. I
try my hand at removing curses. Also, I have been known to refresh a
weary traveller or two. Plus, who else can give you back some of your
magic? Except, of course, those egotistical immortals.

M: Ahem.

A: Oh, no offense to present company. (Aelmon smiles a very patronizing
smile and I decide not to slay him, so I can continue my interview.)

M: All that you have told me is just of the public man Aelmon. Surely
you have a personal life, some interests outside the Plaza.

A: Of course, I have hobbies, friends, activities. Sunday afternoons I
play croquet in Crystalmir with the hobgoblins. They have a stupendous
league. Lots of other monsters show up, sit in the shade of the
umbrellas and harangue us. We all enjoy it immensely.

M: Sounds fun. What else do you do? Who would you consider a good

A: Oh, I play poker on most Friday nights with the other healers and
magic shop owners. It is a friendly game, not much gold lost or won, but
a pleasant evening. (Aelmon smiles a funny little smile, clears his
throat, blushes, then continues.) On Saturday nights I usually take a
special lady out for drinks and dinner.

M: You know I must pry and know who this is.

A: Well, her name is Doris. She works in hell as a secretary. Very nice,
though. You would never know how irritating her job must be. Last
weekend she made a picnic dinner which we took to the Plains of the
North. It was very romantic, eating and watching the cute bunnies
romping by. (Aelmon gets a faraway look in his eyes.)

M: Yes, very nice. You mentioned hobbies?

A: (Aelmon starts and his eyes come back into focus.) Ahhh, yes. I am an
avid fisherman. I love getting up early on a Sunday morning, loading up
my tackle and heading down to the docks. The Captain down there will
usually come along. We don't always catch much but we enjoy it just the

M: My, you do seem to live a well-rounded life. Is there anything you
wish you could do that you haven't done?

A: I would like to expand my business. Train a few more healers. Find
good markets for them. Create Aelmon branches as it were. If I did that,
I could take a little more time off. Also I love teaching the new
healers. Watching your students learn is very rewarding.

M: I imagine it is. It has been very nice talking to you Aelmon. (I
motion to Basil, pay for the tea and stand to leave.) I can transport
you back to the plaza if you wish.

A: No, no. I could use the walk. Thank you for the tea. Drop by the
plaza any time. (Aelmon smiles and walks out of the Tea Shop.)

I watch him walk away. I straighten my tunic, whistle for the red dragon
and have it take me back to my studio. Aelmon's talk of hobbies and
activities has inspired me. The dragon releases me from its claws and as
I drop to the floor of my studio, I am already thinking of my next


Top Ten Reasons why being a Hero is better than imming
             by Beauford

10.  Don't have to kiss up to Snikt
 9.  Can harrass other mortals at will.
 8.  When bored can kill things as opposed to imms just being bored.
 7.  Can use change sex indiscriminately.
 6.  Can get cool weapons.
 5.  Can do "bad" things to really annoying mortals without getting in too
     much trouble.
 4.  Can get to know the newer players better by grouping with them.
 3.  Can kill things (did i already mention that?).
 2.  Can taunt low level imms, without getting in trouble.

And, the number one reason why being a cool, buff hero is
sooooo much better than living the life of a boring

 1.  Can actually gain more levels.


                And What In Fact IS a Marmot?
                          by Marmot

Your friendly Rodent Hero is aware of the endemic confusion concerning
his name and self-designated epithet. For the greater benifit of the Farside
community, I will enlighten my beloved MudMates to the concept of a Rodent
Hero, or because these are the politically correct 90's, a Hero of Species.


Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Subphylum: Vertebrata
Class: Mammalia
Order: Rodentia
Family: Sciuridae (squirrels)
Genus: Marmota (marmots)
Species: caligata (hoary marmot)

         flaviventris (yellow-bellied marmot)
         vancouverensis (Vancouver Island marmot)
         monax (groundhogs/woodchuck)

Here are some excerpts from the book "Mammals of the Canadian Wild":

"The hoary marmot is a huge squirrel, twice as large as the groundhog
and the
largest of all North American squirrels. Its large size is an adaptation for
its life at high altitudes and in the far northern Rockies."

The real question is "Has Marmot ever seen a real life marmot?"

The answer is yes: I have seen a hoary marmot in Glacier National Park
                   in Montana, many yellow-bellied marmots in Rocky
                   Mountain National Park in Colorado and Yosemite
                   National Park in California, and many groundhogs
                   squashed along I-91 in central Connecticut.

Please address further marmot questions to me, I will be happy to
educate you further.

  --Paul M. Lantos, aka "Marmot" (no, the M is for Michael, not Marmot)


Melanie's Mobile Advice Column
         by Melanie

Dear Melanie
   I have a problem.  I can't seem to get people to stop traipsing through
my home at all hours of the day and night.  I just want to be left in
peace, but people keep wandering through, criticizing my housekeeping,
attacking me and generally being a nuisance.  What can I do?

                MUDdily yours,
                        The wimpy monster

Dear Monster
    Why don't you be more like your neighbor to the NW?  He is so
aggressive that people are scared to venture too near.  He doesn't worry
about his housekeeping!  He just chases out people who complain!  Take my

                MUDdily yours,

Dear Melanie
     I need some help.  I'm a very lonely dog :(.  Nobody ever comes to
play with me, and my owner is away so often I get very lonely very fast.
I need to know how to make some friends.

                                Loneily yours,

Dear Woof
    My advice to you is simple... get OUT more.  Go wander around midgaard,
I'm sure lots of people would stop to play with and pet you then.
Especially HEROs, as it is you are in a private room.  You are our Daemon's
pet... you can ignore the midgaard leash laws.  Go ahead, BITE the mayor,
he can't complain or he'd lose his job.  (We'd all like to hear him yell
something about that anyway! Be a nice change from his usual chit-chat)

                                        MUDdily yours,


           A Lizard Man's Story
               by Eldritch

This is the story of how I came to Midgaard and became a warrior.

As a young lizard man, I lived with my extended family, travelling the
plains near the home of the Lizards, Gr'a Tah Gro'k.  We led a pleasent
life travelling and having little conflict.  Until one season,
travelling from the plains we lived in during the Summer to the great
city for winter, a great force attacked my family.  Although we had many
great figherts among us, we could not abandon our young, and we fell to
the invaders.

Powerful wizards had changed the weathers of our plains, and it was far
too cold for the young and eldery and wounded to survive.  Most of our
healtyh adults had fallen in combat.  I wandered the plains and aided
those I could, but it was hopeless.  Finally I made it to the great city
of Gr'a Tah Gro'k and sought the Elders.

The city too had been attacked by evil forces, but had managed to repel
them.  Not even the Elders knew who held such power.  With their
blessings, I left into the world of the warm-blooded to search for those
who had killed my family.  After nearly three years of wandering, I came
upon a great temple to the Goddess Eris.

I spent many monthes there learning of their ways and training to become
a warrior so that I may avenge my family.  It was there that I learnt
that it was a group known as the Illuminanti who had destroyed my

After completing my training in the Temple, I was sent to Midgaard to
learn all that I could of the ways of all the races and to complete my
training and become a mighty Hero, to finally avenge my People.

It is my hope that my vengance shall be swift, and once my soul is at
rest, to return to Gr'a Tah Gro'k and find a lizard woman to start a new
family with.

Hail Eris!  All Hail Discordia!


Copyright (c) 1993,95, Joe DeRouen (AsaMaro)
All rights reserved

[This article has absolutely nothing to do with Farside or MUDs except
that it helps to explain a little about how my mind works.  (Scary
thought, huh?) I was asked to write this article for a magazine in 1993.
I thought I'd reprint it here, just for the heck of it.]

Where do I get my Muse?  Interesting question, and one I thought I'd be
able to answer easily.  When Lucia Chambers asked me to write this
article I never even dreamed that it would remain unwritten til just a
few days before the deadline.

I guess my Muse is hiding.

Where do I get my muse?  That's a hard question.  It's not like "Where
do you get your socks?"  You can answer that one easily enough, and
still have time for brunch.  My muse doesn't come often enough for me to
know when she'll be paying her respects again, let alone where she came
from in the first place.

Ah, but when she does come - my muse is most definitely of the female
persuasion - she strikes hard and fast.  She hides in many guises,
preferring to offer inspiration when it's least expected.  Often, too,
when it's least convenient.

She comes to me in different forms, in different ways, whispering sweet
hints of a long-forgotten song, or dancing across my mind's eye in the
flash of an instant.  Unfortunately, she's usually whispering in Greek
and often whilst dancing across my mind's eye, she steps on my nose.

More than once, in a fit of uncontrollable sneezing, I've scared my muse
away.  It's just as well, anyway; my Greek phrasebook rarely if ever is
of any help, and by the time I *do* manage to decipher exactly what it
is she's saying, she's off doing other things.

And how do I know that my muse is a she, you might ask?  Simple: who
else but a woman could tantalize you by revealing only bits and pieces
of herself, yank it all away in an instant, and leave you wanting for
more?  Who else could drive you to stay up half the night putting words
to an electronic screen, just waiting for the ones that work?  Indeed, I
have no doubt that my Muse is of the fairer sex.  For a final bit of
proof, I offer you this: who but a woman could take you to the edge,
make you think that she's finally come, only to leave you with the
knowledge that it was all a fake?

Talk about my Muse coming when it's least convenient.  She just came,
inspiring me to write the chauvinistic, risque' bit of drivel you just
read.  But what else can I do?  To paraphrase an old saying, "My Muse
made me do it."

Whatever problems she causes - she's caused several near wrecks, for
example, as I searched furtively for a pad and paper and failed to
remember that I was in my car at the time - I wouldn't trade her for
anything.  Without her . . . I couldn't be me.

But that still doesn't explain where my Muse actually comes from, does
it?  I suppose that's because I don't really know.  She's told me so
many conflicting stories that I can't even begin to sort out the truth.
For all I know, she really *could* be the reincarnation of Elvis.
Stranger things have happened, for my Muse and me.


             Additions to Farside
                 by AsaMaro

Energy Drain was modified to drain only to the max of the caster's hit

Several areas (Hell, Way House, Crystalmir Lake, Wedding Chapel, to name
a few) were modified courtesy of AsaMaro and Marat in an effort to make
Farside the MUD with the best spelling and grammar around.  <Grin>  This
is a continuing process, of course, and eventually all areas will be


                        Farside Birthdays*
                       Compiled by Ambrosia

Xeon..................................April 15th
RoX...................................April 19th
Darkaniem.............................April 28th
Bagheera..............................April 29th
Snikt.................................April ????

* There are a *Lot* of names to be added to the list.  Send birthdays
  as well as your character name to Ambrosia via a note in Farside or
  internet e-mail at Ambrosia@escape.com


                           * News *

DaWiz was granted level 63 and has joined the Execs.  Congratulations
DaWiz and good luck with your new duties!

Becoming an immortal is now by invitation only.  If the FS execs think
you're immortal material, they'll contact you.

Kylara ascended into the heavens and became a demigod.  Congrats,

Xanth heroed and quickly followed Kylara by leaving behind that mortal
coil and become immortal.  Congratulations, Xanth!

Ryu and Flute became Mud man and wife in a beautiful ceremony held in
the Farside Wedding Chapel.  Congratulations you two, and good luck in
your Mud life together.

Harp, Lem, Evel, Grback, Gilgamesh, MistyBlue, and Marik all heroed,
joining the ever-increasing ranks of heroes.  Congrats, ladies and
gentlemen!  Long may you reign!

Ambrosia has decided to retire for personal reasons.  We wish you well,
Amb, and good luck with school and "real life"!  :)  Hurry back!

Stepovich finally got an internet e-mail account! Congrats, Step! <Grin>


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