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Gazette 1995-05-15
Articles | Archives | Gazette | 1995 Gazettes | Gazette 1995-05-15
   The Farside Gazette                  Vol II, No. 7 May 15th 1995

  The Farside Gazette is published twice a month by AsaMaro in
  conjunction with (and full permission of) The Farside Staff

  The Gazette is written in 100% pure ASCII to assure maximum
  compatibility for all readers using whatever system they use

  Subscribe by writing to jderouen@crl.com and including just one
  word - Subscribe - in the body of your text

  Telnet to Farside at: mud.atinc.com 3000

                     Table of Contents

                Page   1        Introduction
                Page   1        Table of Contents
                Page   1        AsaMaro's Editorial
                Page   2        Back Issue Notice
                Page   2        Player Bio: Lurch
                Page   3        Immortal Bio: DaWiz
                Page   4        A Horse Tail by AsaMaro
                Page   7        Snikt: An Interview by Arundel
                Page   9        A Taste of Farside by Marat
                Page  10        Top Ten List by Marmot
                Page  11        Rodent Corner by Marmot
                Page  12        Newbies Ask by Arundel
                Page  14        Newbies Nook by Frankenstein
                Page  14        Snikt Explains Problems by Arundel
                Page  15        Raganrok Quest Results by Faramir
                Page  17        Farside Birthdays by Ambrosia
                Page  17        Farside News


                  *  Another Contest! *

The second Farside Contest is history, and Arundel takes top honors with
Marmot bringing in a very close second place.  Melanie won third place
for her Melanie's Mobile Advice column in last issue.

The column (yes, a new feature!) that Arundel won for was his newbie
advice column located a few pages below.  Marmot's Rodent Corner won the
second place slot.  Arundel will receive ten hero levels for his
efforts, while Marmot will receive five.  Since Melanie's already a high
level imm, she wins my gratitude and respect. :)

I'd also like to thank Frankenstein (his article is also located below)
as well as the others who entered.  Nice job, guys!  And keep writing!

                   *         *        *

I'm working on some guidelines for submissions to the Gazette.  I'll
post on FS and in the next issue of the Gazette how to get the document
once I'm finished with it.

                   *         *        *

Special thanks this issue to Arundel, Marat, Marmot, Melanie,
Frankenstein, DaWiz, Lurch, Faramir, Ambrosia, and Snikt for their

And thanks to all of you for reading,



                 Back Issues of The Farside Gazette

Back issues of the Gazette are now available for FTP at atinc.com in
/pub/mud/gazette .  While you're scuttling about the internet, check out
Farside's WWW page at http://zeus.atinc.com/mud.html .


                   * Farside Player Bio *

Name:Lurch                   Age:181     (RL)19
Race:Half-Elf           Class: Thief            Current level: 27 Hero

Interests and Background:
"I was born in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin and spent my early years in a
small town called Cornell.  At the age of 10 I moved to the booming
village of Conrath, which contains a whole 60 people!  When i'm not
mudding you can find me chilling with a brewskie doing homework or
watching t.v.  Videogames and computer games have also come together to
get a pretty good grasp of my free time.  During the afternoon you can
find me out on the hoops courts shooting around and taking hustler to

Advice to Other Players:

"Most people say group.  Well sure that's fun if you have cool people to
group with.  Grouping is all well and good, but if you have patience you
can solo your way to hero.  Learn the map of Farside.  Knowing where
peska was and the orange potions was a big plus until i was big enough
to make it worth my while to kill galahad for his grails.  Find out
where all potions are that can heal you.  Hell the murky green potions
out of the old marsh, and the crimson red? out of the wyvern tower saved
my butt many times.  Also find out where the staffs and wands are that
will help you.  There is an energy drain wand and a 4 charge heal staf
that are real easy to get in the tower of high sorcery, if you want to
take the time to walk there.  Carrying these things around make it
easier to group cause you can keep your gang healthy longer.  Who needs
those egomaniac clerics anyway? (just kidding)  Uh finally when ya get
up there in levels don't bug the heroes about groups.  Its really
annoying.  You will tend to find that heroes will offer to help you out
if your a good person and will help ya.  Course if you put a hero in
your area, they'll tend to work extra hard. (right Eldritch?) ;>  Well
that's about all, just do your own thing, make friends, and roleplay.
Farside isn't just hack and slash, roleplaying and goofin with friends
make it much better."


                   * Farside IMM Bio *

Name: DaWiz                     Age: >500 (RL) 53
Race: Human             Class: Cleric/Warrior  Currrent level: 63

Interests and Background:

DaWiz is married for the second time and has 3 children - a daughter (31)
and a son (28) from the first marriage and a 5 year old son from the
current marriage.  He lives Canon City - a city of 13,000 in Colorado.

DaWiz has been involved in computers for 23 years as a programmer and a
manager.  He got involved in micro computers in the mid 70's (first
computer was a 4k level 1 TRS-80 and still has a TRS-80 model 3).  He
has been involved in telecommunications and BBS'ing since the days of
300 baud.

DaWiz is now heavily involved in politics, currently as a member of the
City Council and he does have aspirations for higher office.  His
hobbies include fly fishing, hunting and Mudding.

Advice to Other Players:

"The best advice I can offer is make friends and group with those that
are not experience greedy (Aegis and I grouped from level 13 to Imm and
still group on other muds from time to time).  While it is possible to
play Farside solo, you will get much more enjoyment as part of a group
and will probably die a lot less.  Interaction with other players is
what mudding is all about - this is not Nintendo.

If you have a problem, don't hesitate to talk to one of the Immortals
about it.  We want you to have an enjoyable experience on Farside and
will do our best to solve any problems you may be having.  Just do not
expect playing Farside to be easy - struggling to level can be more fun
than rapid advancement."


                   A Horse Tail
                    by AsaMaro

     It was nearly night time as I sat at my desk, magickally inscribing
several hundred issues of the Farside Gazette onto vellum scrolls.  The
current issue was nearly finished.
     I'd just transcribed Marat's latest articles onto the scrolls when
I heard a faint rapping at my door.  A gentle tapping, actually.  Tap,
tap, tapping on my chamber door.
     "Go away, you damned raven."  I shouted, irritated at being
interrupted.  The tapping persisted.
     "If you make me have to get up . . ." I warned the stranger on the
other side of the door, using my best menacing Snikt voice impression.
"I told you - I don't want to talk to you.  I have no need of a life
insurance policy, raven.  Leave me, nevermore."
     "Mfll."  Came a sound from beyond the heavy oaken entrance, spoken
by a voice quite obviously not of raven origin.
     "Could you repeat that?"  I called out, forgetting my ire for the
moment.  If it wasn't that damned raven and his life insurance policies,
I might actually deign to answer the door.
     "Mfll."  Came the reply.  "Mfl phl f."  I knew every language on
the face of Farside, but still I could not understand the faint
murmurings of my visitor.
     "Oh, come on in!"  I shouted, magically gesturing at the door; it
flew open.  "Come on in, stranger."
     There stood a winged white horse, nearly eight feet long and
several feet high as well.  He smiled at me, at least insofar as a
winged white horse could smile.
     "May I come in?"  Asked the horse, stretching his wings.
     "Already said you could."  I replied, gesturing for him to cross
the threshold and join me.
     "Say, how come you couldn't understand me as I stood rapping, nay -
gently tapping, outside your chamber door?  I could understand you just
     I cocked my head to one side, in an all too obvious attempt to
simulate deep thinking.  "Plot contrivance?"  I replied, shrugging.
     He met my shrug with one of his own (again, insomuch as a winged
white horse can shrug) and said, "Whatever."
     "So, again, why are you here?  What can I do for you?"
     "Well, now.  That is the reason why I'm here, is it not?"
     "Sir winged white horse, I know not why you're here.  That's why
I'm asking."
     "Stop referring to me as a winged white horse, okay?"  The winged
white horse intoned, it's winged white horse's nostrils flaring.  "I'm a
Pegasus.  You can call me Jack."
     "As you wish, Sir wing . . . er, Jack.  What can I do for you?"
     "Well, now.  That's better.  Say, what was all that business about
the insurance-selling raven?  For a while there, I thought you were
going someplace completely different with this story."
     "Plot contrivance?"  I smiled, leaning back in my chair.
     "Works for me."  Jack said, finally crossing the threshold of my
office and closing the door with his back left foot.
     "Dare I ask again, Sir Jack?  Why're you here?  To be certain, your
company has thus far been amusing, but surely you have more to offer
that amusement to one of the highest immortals in the land."
     "Gee, what they say about you is right; you *are* egotistical."
     "Who said that?"  I leapt to my feet, fire in my eyes.  Well,
actually, the fire was in my left eye.  A spark from a nearby fireplace
that I managed to avoid mentioning til it was convenient for my story.
Needless to say, it hurt!  After a quick healing spell, I was ready to
continue my tete a tete with Jack.
     "tete a tete?  That sounds dirty."  Muttered Jack, giving me a
funny look.
     "It's french for a one-on-one conversation, or something like that.
Maybe you were thinking of a menage a trois?"
     "Well, not with you, at any rate!"
     "Wait a minute, I never said . . ."
     "And you never will!"
     I sighed.  "Okay.  Let's start over; who said I was egotistical?"
     "That's not starting over.  Starting over would entail me leaving,
knocking on your door, you mistaking me for a raven, and then . . ."
     "Enough!"  I cried, sitting back down, exhausted.  "Who said I was
     "Why, it's all over the realm."  Jack flashed a toothy smile.
"Why, some of the other immortals don't even like you."
     "They can eat my shorts."
     "Eww.  So does that mean you're not egotistical?"
     "Well, I never said that."  I winked, patting him on the shoulder.
     "So, now, aren't you going to ask me again why I'm here."
     "I figured if I did you'd never answer.  I thought if I avoided the
subject, you'd come around to it eventually on your own.  I was right,
of course."  I beamed a huge drow smile.
     "Egotistical is right."  Jack muttered under his breath.
     "Whatever."  I waved a hand through the air, dismissing the matter.
"So what do you need?"
     "Surely you recognize me, AsaMaro."
     "No, should I?  Hey, wait a minute!  You're the Pegasus from New
     "You're the Pegasus from New Thalos!" Jack mocked me, in a somewhat
whiny voice.  "Of course I'm the bloody Pegasus from New Thalos!  And I
do mean bloody!  Why, you must have killed me 6,000 times when you were
     "Well . . ."  I offered, doing some quick mental calculations.
"6,012, but who's counting?"
     "I am!"  Shouted Jack, stomping his foot.
     "Well, okay then.  6,012.  So?  I mean, that's what you're there
for, isn't it?  To be killed.  To give others experience so that they
may prosper at your experience.  Isn't that the life of a mobile?"
     "Ha!"  He spat, stomping his other foot.  "I suppose it is, but
should it be?  I mean, we're people too aren't we?"
     "Well, actually, no."
     Jack looked sheepish for a moment.  "Oh yes.  Sorry, I forgot.  I
guess you're right.  I guess we are there to be killed."
     I felt bad.  I laid a hand on the horse's back, to offer what
little comfort I could.  "There, there old boy, it's not so bad.  You
life a nice life with the Sultan and all, and that invisible mare."
     "No, it's my duty to die.  Nevermind that Nellie - the invisible
mare and I - just had a colt.  Nevermind that I give all the New Thalos
children rides around the skies of Farside.  Nevermind that I won the
frikkin Kentucky Derby last year!  I'm *just* a toy.  I'm a walking glue
factory, I am!"  Jack's eyes grew angry, as he pushed his horsy head to
within inches of my nose.
     "Okay, okay.  You've made your point.  You have a life outside of
giving experience points to mid-level mortals.  Is that why you came
here?  To prove a point?"
     "Well, not really.  Actually, my motives were a little less
argumentative than that . . ."  Smiled Jack, relaxing a little.
     "Ah, then.  You want a write up in the Gazette, detailing your
accomplishments and your work with the children of New Thalos.  I can do
that, no problem."  I smiled, starting to like Jack for the first time
since he rapped - no, make that tapped - on my chamber door.  Everyone
deserves a little recognization from time to time, and this was Jack's
time.  I could certainly understand that.  "If that's what you want, I
can certainly see that you get what's coming to you, Jack!"  I offered,
grabbing a pad and pencil.
     ". . . Well, actually, no."  Said the Pegasus, shying away just a
little.  "You see, the raven was sick.  I don't usually cover this beat,
but I'd like to show you a little insurance policy I think you might be
interested in . . ."
     "6,013."  I sighed, casting multiple Gas Breath spells on Jack.
He managed to get a hit or two in before falling to the floor, dead as
a . . . well, horse.
     "Well, that's the way the old horse corpse crumbles."  I said to no
one in particular as I purged the horse fodder from the room and went
back to work.

             *          *         *

     Jack came back a week later, fully recovered from his death (as all
Farside mobs manage to do) and still covering the raven's insurance
beat.  He managed to catch me in a good mood and I actually bought an
insurance plan.  Silly, yes - immortals can't die.
     A week later, however, my pfile was corrupted and I had to be
deleted and brought back to life.  According to the mayors of Midgaard
and New Thalos, that qualified as death, regardless of the fact that I
was quite obviously alive.  The insurance company had to pay up.
     Had Jack thought about it, he'd have known that selling an
insurance policy to an immortal was just plain silly; we control life
and death.  If the pfile hadn't corrupted, I'd have found another way to
collect on the policy.
     Of course, this all goes to show you . . . You can turn a horse to
fodder but you can't make him think.

     Jack's working for me now, by the way.  We have a fortune bet on
next year's Kentucky Derby.  But that's another story for another time.


                            The Daemon Speaks
                         An interview with Snikt

                                                by Arundel

Snikt's Conference Room
You have entered Snikt's Conference Room, a well-lit and comfortable
area where people can talk, or just relax.  A video center with a
Genesis and a SNES sit in one corner, while a couch and a couple of
chairs are arranged in the middle.  New age music wafts through the
air, and the views out the windows seem to be of Maine, not Farside!
To the west is Snikt's Private Office.
To the south is Snikt's Network Center.
To the east is the Small Arena.
DOWN the staircase to the NORTH looks like a portal to Aelmon.
    (Humming) There is a Virtuallink Chair sitting here for Snikt.
    (Humming) Snikt's desk has enough techno-gadretry to run a planet.
    (Glowing) There is a map of all of Farside on the wall.
    A chest full of food sits here, already open.
    (Humming) A fridge is in the corner, keeping all of Snikt's Pepsis cold.
    A soda fountain is sitting in the corner.
Snikt! is here.
Arundel, the intrepid reporter, is here.
(CHARMED) The Unnamed One's wife.
(CHARMED) (Flying) (White Aura) (Sneak) The Unnamed One stands here
watching Snikt.
(White Aura) Xx, a cleric from another realm, stands here, smiling at you.

Snikt: Okay, I have a few minutes. Until it crashes again. (sighs)
Arundel: OK, let's start with history.  How did you first get involved in
S: An ad was posted on ROMv2.3 when Alander was Imp by Raptor I think, or
Strahd.  Three times I ignored various postings. Russ then flamed Farside
about "lack of original code" so I had to check it out.
A: So you came here as a regular Newbie?
S: Yea. Leveled 4 times in about 15 minutes, thought it was too easy and
quit.  Dizzy actually leveled me from 1 to 2.  Then it was rockets.
However, ROM was "better", so i left, and within 1 month ROM went down,
so I came back.  Leveled three times every hour until 18.
A: What class?
S: Warrior.  I was just trying to Imm before yet another mud went down.
ROM was the third mud I had played WITHOUT getting to Immhood.
A: And when was this?
S: Um...lessee...I started here in Decemberish of 93ish and didn't really
start playing until Feb or late Jan...no, late November, and then I
started HERE late Jan.  36 hours later I was L51. Way too easy.
A: When did RoX first notice you?
S: He first noticed me at L15, when my pfile was corrupted...I didn't
talk to him until L51, when I asked him, "How do I get promoted?" He told
me, "Use your head." So I ran around, grubbing items from mobs I could
kill and running quests.
A: Sounds like Farside was a lot easier back then.
S: MUCH easier. That's how we got our reputation as a twink mud.  Anyway,
for my 58th level I did something a little different.  I did the
following command: at Dizzy recho RoX tells you 'I think Snikt is ready
for 58th'. (stares at the sky) (grins evilly)
A: I'm sorry...recho?
S: at Dizzy, at his location, Room Echo...so it looked to Dizzy as if RoX
had told him to promote me. (cackles with insane glee)
A: And you didn't get bagged?
S: Well...I immediately told Dizzy "um...I sorta have to tell you
something..."  When I told him, he cracked up, whereupon I asked him to
stop laughing, and reset me to 57.  He told me, "No, I think I'll let RoX
find you lke that..."
A: (laughs)
S: I was VERY nervous, but RoX has a pretty good sense of humor too, so
he let me keep it.
A: What was the first thing you coded here?
S: Jail. (rolls on the floor, laughing!)  And Jar...I was tired of
buttheads with wonky names, and wanted a less severe way of dealing with
miscreants: silence, trans, norecall, nomagic...pretty small stuff.
Then I did restore all.
A: OK, let's get technical for a minute.  What's Farside running on?
S: 486dx33, Linux.
A: Out of which state?
S: Connecticutt.
A: There was mention of a machine shift in the Message of the Day.
S: Yes, this is the new machine.
A: Is it better than the old one?
S: Yes, imo...just not as used to it as I was to SCO or AIX, which isn't
saying a lot.  Sun would prolly be best, but... :) Beggars can't be
choosers, y'know.  RAM is prolly 16-32. Sorry, not exactly sure.
A: Is there any more you can add to the technical side? This isn't my
S: Um, 56k Dedicated, running WWW and Listservices.
A: Who is kind enough to let us live here?
S: RoX is the guy who is SysAdmin. I do consulting, so RoX and I have a
similar career. Anyway, it's in Ct., on a company site (.com) and that's
one of the reasons I played here btw...1.) RoX seemed cool, 2.) RoX IS
cool, and 3.) it's a company site, vs. edus, which go down every semester.
A: Let's go on to your role here. What are your various responsibilities?
S: I break things. I annoy RoX and/or IH (Ironhand) into coding stuff for
me.  I code little, teeny mods that upset heroes.  I do a LOT of admin
stuff (areas, WWW, Listservices) when I can't find someone else just as
masochistic. to do them for us.  I balance Dizzy sometimes.  I try to make
Farside the best game product for FRP on the Net.
A: Anything else?
S: I try to make sure we stay rational/logical. Gads I hate
irrationality. Hypocrisy.  Main thing is make this the best damn game
product we can.
A: Let's move on to one of your best mods, the Hero class.
S: (pukes) Temp mod, got blown out of proportion.
A: How did you think of it?
S: Cam of ROM, or Motorhead from here, folks who "hung out" below the
first imm level by retreating.
A: They wanted to play, but still wanted spells?
S: Exactly. Wanted to play, but didn't want to have to struggle every day
like normal mortals. Didn't want God rules. I wanted to give Motorhead a
"twink" for sticking around, so I gave him perm sanct, modded his pfile,
a few others, then decided all should have the chance, and then realized
I would have to code some changes.  I think I actually managed most of
the changes without having Ironhand walk me through ALL of it...Ironhand
put in the herolevel counter (he's much faster than I am)...that was a
great idea. Yeah, the hero class was a good idea...they get a tad carried
away though. Trying to scale the mud is the biggest problem, though.
A: Care to explain that last statement?
S: Yes. Conan CAN group with a farmer, and both will learn (gain exp)
even though Conan would do most of the work. (sighs) The world has to be
challenging for both, enjoyable for both, and made so both can group with
each other and still make a difference. Anyway, I AM striving for a fun
game for all, but NOT a twink game. I want a game that makes sense.
A: OK...let's move on to RL a little. You said you were a consultant.
S: CNE, haven't finished college yet, multiplatform.
S: Certified Network Engineer.  Used to mean more than it does now...
A: And where are you living now?
S: Queens. I was born in the Bronx, moved to Maine when I was 4, moved to
Queens when I was 18. I love Maine.
A: Age?
S: 28.
A: Married?
S: Married since 10/2/93. Married once for 5 years before that.
A: Any kids?
S: No kids.
A: OK, next topic. Let's just get your definitions of whining and
S: Discussion is: Please derease the wait states for spell casting
because a), b), c), and d)...and abcd are NOT selfserving reasons.
A: And whining?
S: "It's too HARD..." "You HATE us..." "You will lose all your players if
you do this."
A: OK...anything else you would like to add before we wrap this up?
S: Yes, I WOULD like to do this more often, as our time permits, just so
folks understand.  Not enough communication goes on. My fault...and Rich
and Ironhand are too busy, so the grunt (me) gets to do it.


                             A TASTE OF FARSIDE
                                  by Marat

It was so late after I finished my last crash reimbursement that I just
wasn't in the mood to make dinner. Besides, the hobgoblin who was
supposed to find me mushrooms for my risotto was a no-show. I knew that
the vast realm of Farside could surely offer up a tasty tidbit or two. I
went to find my old friend Stanley. He would make a melancholy dinner
companion (he has been depressed since the federal regulators revoked
his license to sell trinkets in hell) but I felt obliged to attempt to
cheer him.

I wasn't sure what I was in the mood to eat. I did know I was very
hungry. Creating equipment for crash naked realm citizens is hard work.
Stanley suggested that we start with something light and healthy. We
wandered into Solace, stopping at Krista's Fruit Stand to peruse her
produce. I bought an apple and Stanley had a yen for an orange. We
walked around Solace while we noshed our fruit. Stanley suggested we eat
at Jander's Restaurant. I wasn't familiar with the place and reminded
Stanley that he hadn't been a Solace resident for some time. He

As I suspected, in Stanley's absence, Jander's menu had gone from fine
cuisine to cobwebs. Ghostly waiters floated here and there offering
nothing to eat. I harumphed at the delay in filling my stomach. I pulled
Stanley by the arm and called upon the Red Dragon to transfer us poste
haste to Werith's Wayhouse.

We walked into the Wayhouse and I could smell the fragrant odor of lamb
and venison. Stanley and I took a table near the window and attempted to
catch the eye of one of the quickly passing wait staff. After patiently
and subtley signaling for a minute or two, I cast a slowing spell and
nabbed a waitress. I ordered the plate of lamb and Stanley chose the
venison. We started our dinner with a steaming bowl of soup.

The food was a bit bland but very filling. As I finished my last bite, I
leaned back in my chair and sighed. A good meal is a small bit of
heaven. Speaking of which, Gabriel (the angel with the great sword) has
promised for ages to open a dessert shoppe. When the waitress brought
the check, I fumbled in my pockets for some gold. Stanley also came up
empty handed, so we just killed her.

Stanley was in an increasingly better mood, and so as not to disappoint
him I suggested we finish the evening with a cup of something hot. We
wandered over to Rivendale and dropped in to Basil Leafe's Tea Shop. I
ordered a nice cup of peppermint tea and Stanley got some coffee. We
chatted a bit about other places for food in Farside. We agreed that the
pizza at Chef Ra's reggae styled kitchen is fabulous, but Ra's hours of
operation are seemingly random. Also, nothing in the realm can satisfy
like a hotdog from one of the stadium vendor's in Rome.

Stanley and I finished our beverages and I waved adieu as he bamfed
himself back to hell. My stomach was a bit queasy so I made one more
stop in the barn of New Ofcol to get a bottle of milk from Farmer
Elizabeth. Milk does a body good, even if that body is an electronic
avatar in a crazy little place called Farside.


Marmot's Top Ten All-Time Favorite Player Names (current and inactive)

(For sake of remaining unbiased, I will not include my own character,
HemoGoblin or my brother's former character, Vacuum, on this list. For sake
of not getting in trouble, no denied or exiled players are included.)

10: Soyabean
 9: Mordekai
 8: Walkman
 7: Firedancer
 6: Reflection
 5: Macaroni
 4: MonaLisa
 3: Javajoe
 2: Sanctimoose
 1: SubsonicBurn


The Rodent Corner, by Marmot

Security in Midgaard

  One often hears the desperate cries and laments of low level adventurers
confined within the gates of Midgaard as the mayor announces 'I LOVE being
mayor!' The outrage and frustration expressed by these individuals is not
without justification, but there is more to this issue than their torment.
Those who witnessed the siege of Midgaard by Nim Vechwill and his band of
barbaric ettercats and skeletal warriors know the consequences of a
security breach. All hell breaks loose. People die. Stores are looted,
homes burned, children enslaved, men tortured, women taken, and healers
slaughtered. This threat is omnipresent, one must simply stand at the north
wall of Midgaard to witness the sieges from the north of this same band,
with Dim Vechwill at its head.
  Unbeknownst to most of you, Midgaard DID have a North Gate before this
security crisis, and trails led off to varied areas of fantasy and
adventure, inspiration and excitement, challenge and fulfillment. But these
areas fell, one by one, to the hands of barbarians, and when the mayor
deployed all cityguards to the North Gate, the attack was rerouted to the
east and the city of Thalos was destroyed. All of its noble citizens were
slaughtered, and it lies in ruins to this day. The redeployment of
cityguards caused internal strife in Midgaard, especially on White Dragon
Boulevard and the surrounding neighborhood. Families had to flee to Heroes
Lane, while ruffians split into the Trolls and the Ogres.
  After the destruction of Thalos, Nim Vechwill and his bands had to
regroup, and the mayor to the protest of outraged adventurers and
loquacious heroes unilaterally ordered the extension of the North Wall
across the gate--yes, the North Gate was no more. Patrolmen were recruited
to restore order in the dangerous neighborhood, and security was tightened
at the three remaining gates. The mayor justified tightened security at the
South Gate because of the treacherous hobgoblins in the dark woods of
Miden'nir and the occasional maulings by escaped animals from the Circus
and Petting Zoo. The West Gate was kept secure to protect the sanctity of
the Temples of Rox, Strahd, and Reflection surrounding Midgaard Square. And
of course, every bit of security available was necessary in the east and
  How does Midgaard compare as a case study for urban security? Its central
location, large population, and healthy economy make it almost a mecca for
bands of looters. Other cities have taken the example of the failed sieges
and subsequently tightened their own security. New Thalos, established by
Thalosian refugees, is replete with Sultan's Guards and Elite Royal Guards,
Kerofk, Ofcol, and Rivendale have guards at their gates and on their
streets. Particularly noteworthy are the cities of Camelot, Solace, and
Underdark. Camelot has trained an elite army of knights, and by virtue of
this fact is virtually impenetrable. Underdark suffers from a horribly
depressed economy, internal strife and crime, and the effects of evil clans
and guilds. But the Enforcer Eyes and the difficult access to the city
makes any assault futile. Lastly, Solace has elected a very effective
Captain of the Guards and recruited a veritable battalion of Townguards who
secure their gates and patrol their streets. Solace has the downfall of
lacking proper equipment for their guards since that big mansion on East
Gullen Way, Lenny's House, was torn down.
  But the experiences of Thalos and Midgaard have fostered a symbiosis of
ideas between the cities of the Farside megalopolis, and necessary security
measures have been implemented. So while the mayor may seem unreasonable
and even dictatorial at times, he means well and his pompous facade is just
in jest during this temporary time of civil security.


                         ***NEWBIES ASK***
                        Answers from Arundel

 Special thanks to Boroein, who wrote to me when he was level 7 and
 ended up providing this issue's questions.
 Questions can be sent to jring@transend.com.tw for both an immediate
 personal reply and later publication.  Questions are welcome, and the
 most useful (and humorous) will be published in the Gazette.

 1) What are the guilds for ?

 (The following is not the answer that was sent to Boroein originally.
 It has been modified due to recent developments.)

 Up until recently, they were nothing more than leftovers from the
 original Merc code.  Snikt has changed that...The guilds are now your
 place to practice.  At about level 10 or 11, according to Snikt, you will
 be denied access to Mud School.  If you type "up" at recall, you'll just
 get a message saying "Alas, you cannot go that way..."  No more
 Hatchet's Guild Room.  Heros are still admitted so they can help
 new arrivals, but players between 10 and 50 aren't.

 So, find your guild.  You're probably going to need it next time you level.

 I asked Snikt if the guilds would be used for anything else, and he told
 me that RoX wasn't particularly fond of Guilds or Clans. Nevertheless, he
 said he was open to ideas and is trying to think of roles for the Heros.

 The guilds in New Thalos are also available for practicing.

 2) How do I buy something from a shop if multiple similar items exist?
 For instance, I was trying "buy long sword" to buy "A long sword" (as it
 said in the list). Anyway it wouldn't let me because there was another
 much higher level long sword there.

 That's easy. Say you want to buy a sword, as in your example.  Type <list
 sword> and you will see a list of ONLY the swords, rather than three or
 four screens of every weapon under the sun, most of which are 20 or 30
 levels above you. Then count down the list.  Is it the third sword on the
 list? OK...type <buy 3.sword>, and the next thing you know, it'll be in
 your inventory (provided you have enough money.)  Now, if it's something
 like a long sword, which has two keywords, <long> and <sword>, then you
 can just count the 'longs' and <buy 2.long>.

 3) I don't understand groups. How do they work ?

 Depends on who's in them. Some groups don't work well at all...
 First, you choose a leader.  The other players follow the leader, and the
 leader types <group 'charname'> (or gr, for short...) to "group" that
 person.  Once grouped, any player who attacks or is attacked will
 drag the members of the group into the fight.  (This is sometimes bad...
 see the first line of this paragraph...)  If all the players have
 autosplit on, then any gold looted from the kill will be split among the
 members.  Experience too, will be shared, though not equally, as with the
 gold.  Groups are beneficial for many reasons, first and foremost being
 that you can kill more often (especially with a cleric in the group.)
 Even though you get fewer experience points per kill, you kill more
 often, which often balances or overcompensates for the reduced experience.

 Bickering sometimes results when it comes to the equipment looted from
 the kill...a nice guideline can be to sell it all and split the cash, or
 whoever strikes the killing blow gets the equ.  You can also group just
 to get a piece of equipment for one of the group, which is how I got my
 first Holy Avenger.

 4) What time zone does Farside run from ? I am at GMT+10:00.

 As far as I can tell, traceroute places it somewhere on the Eastern
 Seaboard, or EST in the US...I don't have a map handy, so I have no idea
 what that is in GMT.

 5) Is a barbell useful for anything ?

 OK, ok, so I don't know as much as I pretend to.  However, in your
 situation, I would go to the Magic Shop and buy one of the scrolls of
 identify.  Yeah, they cost 2100 gold apiece. So what? Grab something out
 of Donation, drop down to the Leathershop, sell it, and go get a scroll.
 That's the only way to know what an object really can do for (or to,
 heheh) you.

 Another question to ask yourself is, Have I ever seen anyone
 using or wearing this piece of equipment? If not, there is probably
 something better out there.  A friend of mine likes to look at people and
 then print screen...he learns a lot about equipment that way.

 To all you who have learned something, good luck. Cast fast and hit hard.


                Newbie's Nook
                        by Frankenstein

        Here it is, Newbie's Nook! I guess I consider myself qualified
for such a column since I am a newbie. I'm a level 4 Drow martial artist
to be exact.
        Farside was the first MUD I have ever used before, and when I
first tried a MUD it took me a long time to figure the game out. At the
beggining I did all sorts a things wrong, for instance, it is extremely
dangerous for a 1st level player to fight monsters outsider of MUD
school. When I first got on I wandered the city and ended up getting lost
in the void (a big place that takes FOREVER to get out of).
        When you first begin the game you will be in MUD school (a good
place to start out). in almost every room in MUD school there is a sign
that will help teach newbies, just type "look sign" and it will happen.
These signs will guide you throughout MUD school.
        For those who have passed MUD school, and need experience, there
are a few good places that I know of to look for fights. For instance,
the arena wich is south of the first room in MUD school. Snails, rbbits,
and foxes aren't that hard to kill, but I remember that I got wasted by
lizards and boars (and I still do sometimes). Another good place is the
Training Village, where you can fight all sorts of trainees. Beware! The
training village, and other places outside Midgaard have much more cruel
monsters. Some will rob you, and sometime when you are fighting, one or
two monsters will join in. I don't want to give away too much, but the
Training Village not too far from the East Gate.
        Another good place to look for fights is The children's section
of the Dwarf Village, which is designed for newbies. Its filled with
dwarven youths, and dolls, and nannies, but its not that hard. But like
all other places it is dangerous, and I've died there before. The Dwarven
village is also close to the East Gate, and by the way, the East Gate is
2 north, and about 3 east from recall.
        Hmm, well I've told you just about all I know, until next time


                     Snikt Explains the Problems

                                                by Arundel

A lot of people have been seen on other, lesser muds...in fact, this
reporter ran into quite a few Farsidians on Mystic Adventure just the
other day.  Of course, we all know where we'd rather be, but there have
been problems...does the phrase "timing out" sound familiar to you?
This reporter decided answers might relieve a little of that frustration
and sent a few questions in...

Snikt responded thus.

Q: There has been a lot of crashing and downtime lately on Farside.  Does
this have anything to do with the new machine?

Some. Unfortunately pointers are getting set to value "X", and then the NEXT
pointer ALSO gets set to X, so when a process loops through all vars, it
goes X, then X, then X, then...  see?  Part of the problem is related to
sockets (communications processes) which we are trying to pin down either on
the code, or the machine. We will roll back the code if necessary, but are
treating this as a last ditch solution.

Q: What's actually going on with the downtime? Is it modding time, or is
it simply that it crashes in the early morning hours and there's no one
there to put it up again?

When the machine goes "down", it's actually looping through the damn
pointers (see above). The bug sometimes actually bombs the exe, and
sometimes it's not so "nice" and simply loops through infinitely (which is a
problem, since it requires one of us to kill it externally).

Q: Can you estimate whether this will be an ongoing problem or not?

Definitely not. If it continues without being fixed, RoX and Ironhand plan
to rollback the code and redo the changes more slowly. The old code didn't
have this problem.

(Arundel again..) Well, so that's the deal.  I guess we have to bear with
the new code and see what happens.  Sacrifice to your gods...and wish our
coders luck.


             Ragnarok Quest Results
                  by Faramir

Two weeks ago the Defenders of Midgaard were visited by Heimdall, who
warned of a coming invasion by forces of darkness.  He cautioned the
heroes would have to gird their loins and prepare for a bloody defense.
Just days before the battle he returned, bearing tidings of 7 great
scrolls carrying information relating to items that might help in the
defense of the land against the foul forces of Muspell.  The 7 scrolls
read . . .

In ancient times, the Awl of Eitri was used to bind the mouth of Loki.
This shall be your only defense against his spells.  In ancient times
the great wolf Fenrir was bound by the great chain Gelgja - a second
chain must be fashioned from 7 unlinked pieces of the original mystic
chain.  If the chain is refashioned Fenrir may be bound to earth again.

Long before there was TCP/IP there was great Ymir, the greatest of the
Frost Giants.  After his death at the hands of Odin, the last of the
Frost Giants, Bergelmir, took the eyes and made off with them.  They are
rumored to be a source of great cold - perhaps strong enough to deflect
the fiery blast of fenrir�s gaze.

Long ago, great Freyr sold herself to 4 dwarves for a wondrous necklace
- a necklace that caused great bloodshed ammongst men.  The necklace will
captivate Hyrm as well and prevent him from fleeing in combat.  Long
ago, Loki fashioned the great sword Laevateinn - the Wounding Wand.  It
is the only weapon which will prevent the midgaard serpent from healing
itself during melee.

At this moment Sigyn, Loki's wife, stands over Loki, capturing the venom
of a great serpent in a bowl protecting her husband.  This, the Bowl of
Sigyn, is the only thing that will prevent the great Jormungand's great
poisonous blasts.

Odin's great spear Gungnir is so terrible as to demand Surtur's full
attention if it is wielded against him.  Surtur will be unable to breath
fire so long as it is WIELDED by his opponents.

Each was held by a seperate Norse guardian, from Odin himself, to
Ratatosk the Yggdrasil squirrel messenger of the gods, to the drake
Nidhogg and the great Giant sage Vafthrudnir.

As it grew colder, and finally the dun cock crowed, the chains binding
the enemy forces were broken and the 5 great mobs and their hosts
advanced on midgaard.

Loki.  Loki came from the north leading an army of undead.  His army
soon breached the northern wall and legions of undead roamed the streets
of midgaard slaying many an unaware mortal.  Loki slew many a hero,
using his classically tricksteresque powers to bring Ciquala back again
and again.  He was finally slain by Wish.

Fenrir.  Fenrir began south of town and wound his way across the
continent until he met up with his brother Jormungand in new thalos.
There the two of them slew many a hero until faced by the combined
forces of Rackhir, Wish, and Kylara - brandishing Ciquala Staves as fast
as they could, they beat the serpent into retreat and finally bested the
wolf - though at great cost in equipment and lives.

Jormungand - the midgaard serpent.  The serpent was perhaps the nastiest
of the quest creatures - spewing acid in an unheard of volume and
cackling repeatedly as players were ground beneath its furious wriggling
mass.  That the serpent was bested at all is a matter of great wonder.

Hyrm - sailing the Naglfar, a ship made of dead mens nails from the icy
hardpack of the south to the docks of midgaard with his host of Frost
Giants - he was stopped by Deathstar and Darkyn.

Surtur -  crossed the astral plane with a host of powerful aggressive
Fire Giants.  Arriving in Midgaard before a single of his allies had
been bested in the field (and having been lost in the astral plane for
quite a time i might add) he began wandering the town, killing
shopkeepers and making a general menace of himself near recall in an
attempt to interfere with the heroes ability to go back and help their
compatriots.  In this effort, his giants killed many an unwary player
thinking Midgaard was safe if they somehow pretended there was no

Finally, after his host was defeated by a bolt from the
heavens (read crash) he was defeated by the combined arms of perhaps 10
brave warriors.  Having been webbed and facing as many opponents as he
did, he was perhaps the easiest kill of all the mobs - though he
certainly began the fight with a serious capacity to rend flesh.  He was
killed by Lurch.


                        Farside Birthdays*
                       Compiled by Ambrosia

Rackhir...............................May 12th
Sunfire...............................May 15th
Spike.................................May 27th
Slinky................................May 31st

* There are a *Lot* of names to be added to the list.  Send birthdays
  as well as your character name to Ambrosia via a note in Farside or
  internet e-mail at Ambrosia@escape.com


                           * News *

Whisper, Stepovich's alter ego, was welcomed into the ranks of the Gods.
Congratulations, Whisper!

Arundel heroed!  Good thing too, else what would he do with those hero
levels he won?

Cult heroed and wanted to thank Rackhir, Evel, and Marik.  Grats, Cult!

Tarsas heroed and wanted to thank the following people, in no particular
order: Linnet, Kylara, Sphynx, Evel, Marik, Durdyn, Deathstar, Lurch,
Swiftsword, Gilgamesh, Marmot, Samson, Chops, Mega, Clanton, HARLIE,
Orry, Mendek, Ynnad, Paladine, Flute, Dara, Snikt, Drizzit, Darii,
Calin, Andagol, Eldritch, Javajoe, Decker, Lem, Mistyblue, Shelby,
anybody who has ever restored me, the imms who have made Fs what it is,
and RoX and Amos for reimbs way back when.  (Whew!)  Congratulations,
Tarsas!  May your life as a hero be as long as this paragraph!

Triock heroed and didn't wish to thank a long list of people!  (Cheer
Triock!)  Congrats!

Darkyn, too, heroed without a long list of people to thank!  (Cheer
Darkyn!)  Congrats!

Eldritch finally heroed, and wanted to thank Lurch, Marik, Evel, Lucifer,
Samson, Marmot, Lem, HARLIE!, DeathStar, Tarsas, Pameran, and Lysander.
Congrats Eldritch!

Flute also heroed and wanted to thank Ryu, Deathstar, Abu, and all the
heroes that helped her join their ranks.  Congrats Flute!

Harlie (The Friendly AI) heroed and wanted to thank Durdyn, Clanton,
Arundel, LEM, Venom, Samson, Eldritch, Tarsas, Flute, DeathStar,
Javajoe, Linnet, Drizzit, and Sky.  Congratulations, Harlie!

Faramir's Ragnarok quest was a success, with several heroes and mortals
sharing the day's rewards!  For more information on the quest, read the
Raganrok Quest Results by Faramir somewhere above.


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