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________________________________________ 21 Feb, 2000 ___
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Table of Contents
1. Editorial by Dizzy
2. Tale of the Blue Dragon by Jedius
3. Goblin Thoughts by Jaromil
4. Pet Shop by Jaromil
5. The Goblin Adventuring Guild by Jaromil
1. Editorial By Dizzy
Sorry I haven't written in the last two weeks. RL occasionally mars the
symmetry of my plans and participation in the game. Recently, the demands
of family, the day job, the night job, and the teaching job have left me
breathless and without the require energy to work on the Gaz and the Game
as much as I'd like. Please accept my apologies, and enjoy this issue...
it was a ton of fun putting it together for you. (Special thanks to Jedius
for a cool story and Jaromil for THREE articles of surpassing clarit y of
thought (for a Goblin)!!)
In the interests of encouraging Avatar players on to maturity as Highly
Skilled and Deadly Mob Killers; allow me to present A Knight's Guide to
Mud Life on Avatar.
-=++ A Knight's Guide to Mud Life ++=-
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Free advice is worth what you pay for it.
The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it
gets, the harder it is to swallow.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
If it doesn't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably isn't.
It doesn't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches
you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering
somebody else's charmie around.
Don't worry about biting off more than you can chew; your mouth is
probably a whole lot bigger than you think.
Always drink upstream from the crowd.
Generally, you aren't learning anything when your mouth's open.
If you're leading a group, take a look back every now and then
to make sure it's still there with you.
Good judgment comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad
When you give a personal lesson in meanness to another player,
don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
When you're throwing your weight around, be ready to have it thrown
around by somebody else.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it
Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so
important to know what it is, but it could be crucial to know what it was.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back
into your pocket.
Never miss a good chance to shut up and listen.
2. Tale of the Blue Dragon by Jedius
Jedius opens his Book of Tales and searches for an interesting story.
Jedius says 'In a small village called Calhorn, there lived a young man.
Syrak was his name.'
Jedius says 'Syrak was born a peasant, and grew up one. But when he was
about 17, he found his talent for battling'
Jedius says 'Syrak joined the king's army as a knight, even though knights
normally start training at 8.'
Jedius says 'Syrak prospered amazingly through his training.'
Jedius says 'Syrak eventually rose the ranks of the king's army to the top'
Jedius says 'He became the king's personal royal guard, and found himself a
wife, and married.'
Jedius says 'He was also a rather educated young man as well. Unlike most
people, he knew how to read and write, and read every book he found'
Jedius says 'Syrak had once read in a book about an ancient city called
Keisaan. Keisaan was located far off in the Tirisadian Desert.'
Jedius says 'Keisaan used to be a very prosperous town, and was very famous
throughout the land'
Jedius says 'But one day, Keisaan was simply reduced to ashes and rubble. No
one knew the cause of this mysterious phenomenon'
Jedius says 'This came in useful for Syrak one day when a squire burst into
the king's chambers and informed him of the same fate that had happened to
Avant, a neighboring city'
Jedius says 'The king was startled and feared Calhorn would suffer the same
Jedius says 'The king was curious as to what caused the destruction of Avant.'
Jedius says 'He organized a search party of his best knights, led by Syrak.'
Jedius says 'They prepared themselves well and brought plenty of food,
weapons, and armor.'
Jedius says 'The following day, the party left Calhorn on their journey to
Jedius says 'The party wandered on and on for days, weeks, a full month'
Jedius says 'Yet they found nothing. Once they reached the city of Avant, all
they saw was burnt umbers and black smoldering rubble'
Jedius says 'They walked cautiously through the town, exploring each corner,
pondering what could have caused it all'
Jedius says 'Finally, after a week's search, they found nothing, and decided
to leave the town'
Jedius says 'The party left the city and camped on it's outskirts that night.'
Jedius says 'Ironically enough however, they didn't survive till the next
morning. Only Syrak was left unharmed'
Jedius says 'When Syrak woke, he found his comrades lying dead in their
Jedius says 'Syrak wondered why he had been left alive'
Jedius says 'Nonetheless, remaining undaunted, Syrak continued the journey'
Jedius says 'But all along, Syrak felt he was being followed'
Jedius says 'He constantly looked back, to his dead comrades, and made sure
no one was watching him'
Jedius says 'One day on his voyage, Syrak felt quite strange'
Jedius says 'He seemed to hear the earth rumbling, and the wind blowing. Yet
the earth did not tremble, and the winds were as quiet as a field mouse.'
Jedius says 'Syrak drew his sword and held his shield, for he had never taken
Jedius says 'Syrak turned around and behind him was hovering an enormous,
massive blue dragon'
Jedius says 'Blue dragons were known to be the rarest kind of dragon'
Jedius says 'Yet Syrak had read about blue dragons in a book he'd read as a
Jedius says 'He'd seen that all blue dragons were unique, therefore they were
rare. Each had a powerful spell locked inside them'
Jedius says 'If a warrior were to strike the dragon correctly, the spell
would be released and would destroy the dragon and make the warrior
Jedius says 'However, no one knew how to strike these dragons'
Jedius says 'Meantime, this dragon was setting all the trees around him
ablaze, surrounding Syrak with fire'
Jedius says 'He had no choice but to fight to the end now, who's ever it may
Jedius says 'Syrak raised his sword and charged the dragon'
Jedius says 'But the dragon simply laughed his dragon-laugh and snatched
Syrak off of his feet'
Jedius says 'Syrak struggled to free himself from the grip, but the dragon
was too big and overpowered him'
Jedius says 'The dragon moved Syrak into a position right above his mouth.'
Jedius says 'Syrak knew this was the end. He had failed the king. But he
figured he might as well die honorably'
Jedius says 'As the dragon released Syrak, he swung his sword and, due to the
sheer size of the dragon, only managed to slice off one of the dragon's
Jedius says 'And just as Syrak was about to be swallowed into the black abyss
of the dragon's mouth, he was suspended in midair'
Jedius says 'Instantaneously, the dragon vaporized and Syrak floated down to
the ground safely. Syrak knew he had released the magic inside the blue
Jedius says 'And with this, Syrak felt very proud, for he knew he would
receive much power any moment.'
Jedius says 'And indeed he did.'
Jedius says 'Several minutes after, Syrak grew large and wide. And then, he
became very powerful, able of crushing whole cities.'
Jedius says 'He became a blue dragon.'
3. Goblin Thoughts by Jaromil
I, Temujin the Goblin Shaman, have been pondering what AVATAR would be
like if we goblins were the only player race available. This vision of
our world would definitely be different than what we are used to now. It
would possibly be something like this. ..
1. Groups would be overly large to compensate for those that flee or die.
2. Most mobs would only get killed by the trampling feet of the fleeing
hordes of goblins.
3. The fleeing system would be changed so experience was received instead
of lost. Otherwise no one would level.
4. The new measure of status would not be your level or gear, but rather
the number of close encounters with death you have avoided by fleeing.
5. Spellups would only be received from healers such as Aelmon, goblins
are hardly able to cast spells and when they do they run out of mana.
6. Spell casting classes would be phazed out due to goblins taking too
long to learn spells they can't even successfully cast.
7. Sanctum and other "mob safe" areas would be expanded to allow for the
large population of timid goblins too scared to venture forth.
8. No one would go to the arena since it is entirely too confrontational
for fearful goblins.
9. Mud marriages would no longer occur. Who would want to marry an ugly
10. And finally, HOGs would no longer give massive hit and damage, instead
they would produce a "greased pig" effect, allowing the goblins to flee
from even the most deadly of mobs.
4. Pet Shop by Jaromil
The following is an excerpt from a lecture given by Temujin, the
goblin cleric, to a class of up and coming goblin adventurers. He is a
graduate of Clerics R Us and distinguished himself by being in the top 95
% of the class. He is currently the for emost expert on goblin healing
Now, many of you have been asking about how to get gear. You are at
the point in your adventuring careers when better gear is needed but,
because of your use of your fleeing skill, groups willing to help you are
rare. The easiest way to deal with t his is by laying low until your
reputation improves and then emerge on new unsuspecting groupies who are
not familiar with your racial flee. Being impatient race, wanting to
become more powerful to protect ourselves as quickly as possible, this
option is difficult for us.
There is another option to consider, but using this takes some timing
and skill. It also requires that you have a cold heart towards cute,
fuzzy things, namely pets. These creatures come in all shapes and sizes
and are easily replaced with cash. B igger and better pets are available
as you progress in your efforts to hero.
What you do is enter the room with mobbie carrying the gear and
attack him in your best defense, your pets will join in and assist you.
"But no one is there between me and mobbie!" you say. But that is where
you are wrong. Once your pets are fully engaged in combat you can sneak
away and let them carry the fight for you while you fully recover in an
adjacent room. They are still in your group so you can watch their battle
efforts by their stats.
When you hear a death cry and your pets are still alive then enter
the room and collect your hard earned gear. On the other hand, if the
death cry came from a pet you may still have some work to do. As soon as
your pets die you must reenter combat with the mobbie. It should be worn
down while you have been resting away watching the action.
The first few rounds should let you know if your battle will be
winnable. If not then you must gather your cash, replace your pets and
try, try again.
Pets can be bought at the following places, prices, and varieties...
The Petshop in downtown Midgaard
Level 2 kittens Level 4 puppies
Level 6 beagles Level 8 rottweilers
Level 10 wolves Level 12 snakes
Level 14 lions Level 16 monkeys
Level 19 gorillas Level 25 displacer beasts
Level 30 wyverns
Marik's Pet Emporium in Drow City
Level 30 Pit bulls Level 35 pumas
Level 40 black bears Level 45 elephants
You can also buy pets and start a zoo, maybe you can charge gear and
get it that way. Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck.
5. The Goblin Adventuring Guild by Jaromil
The following is a paid advertisement from The Goblin Council, The
Goblin Adventuring Guild, and The Goblin Medical Community.
Looking for employment? Looking for exciting career opportunities?
Recently the goblin community pooled its resources and constructed a
multi-million dollar Group factory. This modern facility, fashioned after
the mob factory design, is now ready to start production once key
personnel spots are filled. Contact Temujin to see if you qualify for one
of the following jobs. With the plant just starting up, chances for
upward mobility should be abundant
-Factory Line Worker Good with your hands? Like putting together
puzzles. Positions on the factory floor are now open. Be on the ground
floor constructing tanks and groupies to protect our adventuring goblins
which can no longer get normal gro ups due to fleeing reputations.
Management positions are also open for those that qualify.
-Industrial Researcher We are currently looking for a few stealthy
employees to "gather documents" from Fix-it Floyd on techniques for
putting together creatures. We can then build on these techniques to
enhance are groupie construction. Applic ants must have few scruples and
strong-arm techniques would be useful.
-Raw Material Gatherer These individuals will be required to pay
special attention to information detailing the demise and location of
prominent characters and then the speedy retrieval of any body parts
resulting from said event. Applicants must be knowledgeable about area
geography to aid in quick part recovery. This is the key stone position
in our factory, without parts the assembly line cannot function. (Sorry,
this position has already been filled for the City of Midgaard by the
Executioner, our current lead procurer of parts.)
All of these positions should fill quickly so don't waste anytime
getting your application in. The faster you apply, the faster you can
become an important cog in the goblin leveling machine.
The Avatar Gazette is what you've just been reading, and it is the
official newsletter of Avatar, it is published weekly by Dizzy, in
conjunction with The Avatar Staff.(Original concept by Asamaro).
The Gazette is written in plain vanilla ASCII text to ensure that
everyone can enjoy it regardless of computer type.
To subscribe to the Gazette, send internet e-mail to
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You can FTP back issues of the gazette from ftp.walrus.com in
If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, criticisms,
compliments, or (best of all) articles that you've written for the
gazette, please send them to Dizzy via my e-mail address:
You can also view the latest issue of the Gazette while playing
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